I have to admit that I am not a fan of computer or electronic games. I just do not understand the appeal of games that require you to sit in front of a screen, sometimes for hours on end. My son and husband, however, have a very different opinion on the matter. They both enjoy computer games, although they do have very different tastes in the type of games they play. My husband prefers the quieter card games, played solo. My son, however, is attracted to the fast-paced games, usually involving car chases, loud noises and lots of action.

At my son’s school, students are allowed to select from a small group of games when they have finished assignments in their computer classes. For my son, this is an added incentive to get his work done quickly and correctly so that he can try to top his classmates’ scores in their favorite games.

I do recognize that there are many skills that he can hone by playing video games, but I have found that he too easily becomes almost obsessed with the games he enjoys. Originally, he was allowed to play games on two Internet sites that had age appropriate games for between 30 minutes up to a maximum of an hour during the week after he completed his homework assignments. I quickly discovered that this was not a good situation because he quickly, and sloppily, tried to finish his homework, without giving it the time needed to completely grasp the assignments. Grades slipped a bit as he hurried to complete schoolwork so that he could move on to something more entertaining.

The new house rule is no computer games at all during the week. Instead, he completes his homework and it is then his choice of what he would like to do for entertainment. Since his room is already filled with board games, books and toys of every description, there is no lack of entertainment options available to him. In spite of this, there is still some whining about the fact that his friends are able to play the games they like every day.

On weekends, after his sports classes, and after homework assignments are completed and checked, he is allowed to play games on the Internet for a maximum of one hour each day. While he looks forward to his very limited time on the computer, he still feels that I am being unfair. When he is at school, his classmates talk about the games they play and the scores they have made. My son feels at a disadvantage due to the limited time he has available to spend playing the same popular games. On the occasions that we have been asked to his classmate’s homes so that the children can play together, I have noticed that they tend to spend their time sitting next to each other at a computer, or hunched together over a handheld game, concentrating on the game and not really interacting with each other.

When his friends have come to our house to play, they immediately notice the difference. They usually voice surprise at the lack of electronic and computer games for their entertainment. Within a few minutes, though, they find themselves attracted to other games, often ones that they create together with the toys available. I enjoy having the chance to watch the children play together and interact instead of merely sitting together and concentrating on an electronic game.

My husband and son used to stop at a local video arcade on the weekends on the way home from our son’s gymnastics classes. A harmless way to spend time together was how we thought of it. However, since my husband and I are not big fans of the video games with car chases and violence, we did not know until recently that they were actually playing games together at the arcade that were designed for much older children. These games were inappropriate for young children, and I noticed that my son’s behavior and speech was beginning to reflect what he was seeing in the games. He began to pick up words and phrases that were not suitable for a child his age. As he played games that had some violence in them, his actions at home changed too as he tried to act tougher, mimicking the characters in the games.

We have put a stop to the video arcade visits and are trying to emphasize better ways for us all to interact together, while giving our son time to be creative while he is having fun. Like all aspects of parenting, it is a juggling act. Will I ever allow electronic games in our home? Probably. But for now, I enjoy our time spent together.