Get out of the rut of daily doldrums

 Social rules and etiquette vary from culture to culture. Even among Americans, Canadians and British people it varies somewhat. Showing gratitude is not always done in a way we expect or in a particular situation.

 A British friend went to America with me for a couple of weeks. One day we had a long road ahead of us and needed to keep driving but felt hungry. We drove through a fast food place to get a quick bite. As my friend gave our order to the speaker on the post she ended each sentence with the words “thank you” or “please.” The person taking the order seemed to be asking her a lot of questions about our order. My friend kept replying graciously with replies such as “yes, please” and “no, thank you.” Finally, I clued in to what was going on. By this time the young girl inside had told us to drive around to the window and pay. When we drove up to the window, three of the members of staff were crowded around the window to greet us and the first words out of one girl's mouth were, “You are not from around here!” What gave it away? Clearly most people who drove through the fast food lane were not so polite and did not express their gratitude for their assistance, and the other reason was obvious -- the London accent.

 I always thought of gratitude as a simple emotion and a simple act until I moved to the Middle East. It can be shown here, but in a different way. Gratitude implies a dependency and indebtedness. This is a trait that is not shown so publicly -- even on a small scale.

 As an instructor I've had many students who have wanted to show their appreciation and thanks for the help I gave them when working with them while they were writing their dissertation or working on a report. In America or Australia, giving a greeting card or thank you card is common, but it not so common in this culture. Maybe you've noticed that during the Muslim holidays or New Year's people send postcard-type cards. More recently, with the Internet, this is not even as common as it used to be. People may send free e-cards now.

 In Turkey you may be shown gratitude by being invited out to eat or to a student's home for a meal. Sometimes you may be presented with a gift -- even a beautiful, large bouquet of flowers. It seems that Turks are very good at saying thank you in a big way for big things, even if they don't always acknowledge the little things like saying thank you when you give way as a driver.

 I was raised to show gratitude and to try to maintain a positive outlook. Research shows that those who do this will be better off both mentally and physically. I was taught to nod my head or give a quick wave to indicate thanks when someone stopped to let me cross the street or paused long enough to let me parallel park or cross lanes.

 Have you ever noticed that often Turks do not tend to hold the door open if someone is nearing the entrance? On the other hand, where I come from a person usually would be pleased if you held the door open. It is not that people are rude by not holding the door open or by not saying “thank you”; it is just that social rules differ from place to place.

 Robert Emmons, author of “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier,” explains that gratitude may seem like a simple emotion, but argues that it inspires kindness, connection and transformative life changes. Susie Michelle Cortright in her article “Five Ways to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude” says, “Gratitude keeps us centered and wards off jealousy and negativity.” Finding ways to express gratitude can bring about a positive outlook.

A simple act of gratitude can change the way your day is going.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” -- Anthony Robbins