House rules

My own morning routine begins about an hour before Ali Adem arises. I like to have my own quiet time to check e-mails, have a cup of coffee and do some work before starting his breakfast. Once he is up, we eat together and then he gets dressed and ready for our walk to school. I give Ali Adem a little over an hour in the morning to have breakfast and prepare for his day. However, even with extra time, it is very easy for him to become sidetracked with a book or toy. I discovered from the beginning of school that if he was allowed to turn the TV on in the morning, it was one distraction too many and it became a struggle for him to be ready to leave on time. The simple solution was to ban television before school unless he is dressed and fully prepared for the day. The exception to this rule is if there is something of major importance on the news. Fortunately, news programs do not hold the allure of SpongeBob SquarePants and, as a result, early morning viewing becomes pretty much a non-issue for him.

Once Ali Adem returns home from school in the afternoon, homework takes precedence over any television, including his beloved SpongeBob SquarePants. After our walk home together from school, I prepare a snack of fruit or vegetables while Ali Adem changes out of his school uniform. While he eats his snack, we like to sit together and talk about his day. This offers him a chance to relax a bit after a long day at school, rather than diving into more schoolwork as soon as he arrives home. He knows there is no use in even asking if he can watch television before he has his afternoon snack and has completed all of his homework. The TV set remains off until after all schoolwork is done and checked for errors by me or my husband. Then, if there is time before dinner, he is allowed to watch for a little while. This has given him a good incentive to finish his assignments quickly and correctly the first time.

Meal times are set aside as a time for us to sit together and enjoy our meal, without any distractions from the television. This is easy for us because, at our house, the television is in the living room, far away from the dining room. The exception to our rule of eating together at the table is when there is something special on that we all want to watch. For such occasions, we have picnics on the living room floor, which is a special, and rare, treat. Once homework assignments are finished and dinner is eaten, there is not much time left over for Ali Adem to watch television.

He usually only has enough time to watch one or two of his favorite programs before it is time for a bath and bedtime preparations. If all goes well, there will be time for my husband to read him a story in Turkish and for me to read him one in English. Afterwards, Ali Adem likes to read us a story as well. By 8 o’clock in the evening, Ali Adem is tucked into bed and beginning to drift off to sleep.

Since we do not get to spend a large amount of time together as a family, mostly due to our school and work schedules, the time we do manage to share together at home is even more precious to us all. By having the television off, we have a chance to talk to each other and tell stories about our day’s adventures and experiences. We build a stronger family bond by working on our communication skills together. I know that soon Ali Adem will be busy with more after-school activities that will eat away at what little personal time we have to share. I hope we all will cherish those quiet, close moments that we share with our loved ones.