Homes and hotels were without electricity for days. I had a speaking engagement and was limited in the presentation I gave that weekend due to the electricity being off. You can probably relate to Steven's experience; he just wanted to quickly pick up something to eat.
Dear Charlotte, the other day we were headed somewhere and the traffic was terrible. We were delayed and the children were hungry so stopped at a fast food chain and I ordered two hamburgers and French fries for the kids. The person taking the order was nice and polite but could not understand me when I spoke. Placing my simple order turned out to be not so straightforward. I do not think it is always that my Turkish is incomprehensible.
After they brought the order, I asked for some ketchup. It is so surprising to see signs in English in so many places and hear American pop music being played in the restaurants but the word "ketchup" not being understood. I became very frustrated just over trying to get some ketchup! From Steven in Üsküdar.
Dear Steven, often when you meet a Turk for the first time they will not expect you to speak Turkish. Even though you are speaking to them in an understandable way, they stare at you and seem to not understand. Maybe they just do not expect foreigners to be able to speak any Turkish and they are surprised and can't believe their ears.
Your experience reminds me of something I read in the book "Dave Berry Does Japan." The author relates a similar incident where he is trying to ask for ketchup. The young person behind the counter was polite but could not understand what he wanted. The waiter even brought two more people over to try to figure out what Dave wanted. By this time, Dave was using a gesture for ketchup, pounding the bottom of an upside-down imaginary bottle while repeating the word ketchup many times. The simplest thing can take longer than we think.
Dear Charlotte, I've wanted to write to you for months but I'm just getting around to it. In an article you wrote a while back you mentioned dealing with repairmen, etc. It struck a chord with me. I love living in Turkey, but I find that it takes a lot longer to accomplish anything.
Maybe it is just my imagination because of the language barrier, etc. I must admit I get frustrated when I feel like time is being wasted. I was amused watching an electrician and carpenter go about their work. I'm convinced that the job could be done in half the time if the phones were turned off. Definitely the invention of the mobile phone has been a distraction and slows the work progress down. Any suggestions on how to handle my stress is welcomed. From Margie.
Dear Margie, I wonder if it is just a local problem. I was talking about this with my sister in America who had a house built. She supervised the building project from the ground up. I asked her how it went, and she replied, "Getting the construction crew, painters, electricians [and on and on her list went] to show up on time and to work was a nightmare." When her house was finished inside and out she was pleased with the result, but she is not sure she would do it again.
Sometimes it is not easy to motivate ourselves, and it certainly is not easy to motivate others. You could make a rule that people who do work for you should keep phone calls to a minimum or turn off their phones. I've found in Turkey that it works better to try to find things to praise people for and then they are willing to achieve more.
I like what psychologist and life coach Neil Fiore, author of "The Now Habit," suggests. He says, "You create an overview and act like a project manager who is less likely to be overwhelmed or distracted by low priority or urgent tasks." Fiore recommends that each item on the list should have a priority assigned to it. I have found that I can apply this to almost every aspect of life. Also I find padding the amount of time it may take helps decrease my stress. Lists help us maintain momentum.
Realistically, you can't do it all. Whether it is tying to order a hamburger with some extra ketchup or dealing with the repairman in a second language, it is best for you to focus on the best use of your time now, according to your priorities and with the reality of human limits humbly accepted.
Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman ‘s readers.
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
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