Breaking unwanted habits -- the power of affirmations

Yeah, that has happened to me.

When someone makes those comments, they usually add something like, “You should quit smoking, lose weight, gain weight, limit alcohol consumption, etc., etc.” But they never offer practical suggestions on how to actually accomplish this goal that they believe should be your priority.

And maybe they have a point. Smoking can unquestionably be related to all kinds of maladies; too much or too little weight has been linked to certain medical conditions; and drinking too much will kill your liver. Well, you get the picture. And so the question remains -- how do we identify those bad habits that we want to target to adopt a healthier lifestyle?

The first step is to do a self-assessment. Take a long look in the mirror or sit down and reflect on your habits that may be touted as “bad” by current societal thinking. How do you really feel? Do you enjoy your habit or do you think it would be better to quit? Do you like what you see in the mirror? Are you at a healthy weight, but maybe need to tone up your muscles? Conversely, are you at too low or too high a weight to maintain the energy level that you desire? Is alcohol consumption affecting your health or relationships?

Ask the tough questions about your habits and, if you like to see your thoughts on paper, then make two columns on a piece of paper. Write “Pros” at the top of the first column and “Cons” over the second column. After listing your pros and cons, take action that matches the results of your self-assessment and current needs or desires.

Being the captain of your life

Be honest with yourself -- if you are OK with who you are and what you are doing, and you can honestly say that you are not negatively affecting those around you -- carry on. Don't let somebody else's opinion dictate your self-worth or what you “should” do. You are the captain of your life.

However, if you believe that the unsought advice is valuable and you want to take action, then consider the quote by Michelangelo, “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

If you do decide that you want to change something about yourself, remember that everything is created twice. Every single thing you see -- the tables, walls, buildings, your computer -- was first an idea in someone's head that became a design, then a blueprint, and, finally, was produced. Beliefs that led to changes, such as the Civil Rights Movement in the States, came first from people's thoughts that change was necessary to respect the basic rights of all people.

All change first happens in the mind. For that reason, if you decide that something has to change, then you need to work from the inside out to visualize the goal that you want: Set your new self free in thought in order to lead to the actions that get you on the road to success.

That is where affirmations play a key role. These are not just some new age gimmick, but rather a helpful tool to help you break a habit or reach a goal. Some people think that affirmations are just lies meant to build self-esteem so you can feel better about yourself. However, the reality is that creating affirmations is always the first action taken prior to any success. Using affirmations stimulates the visual cortex of the brain so that you can see the possibilities for future success -- no matter what the goal. Once you see the possibilities, the ideas begin to flow as your whole brain engages in imagining how to engage in different habits to support the changes you desire. Therefore, positive affirmations are not lies or true denial. Rather, the creation of affirmations is the action that primes the pump of success.

Accepting affirmations

Affirmations alone will not always help you maintain the change. Sometimes, people give up too early on a goal because they do not give themselves enough time to wrap their brains around the affirmations that they are using. Know that it might take some time to accept that affirmation that you have created. Continue to maintain the actions that you have chosen to create change on a daily basis for a period of at least 30 days, then assess your progress.

If you have made little or no progress toward your goal, then do the self-assessment again. If that assessment still rings true, then consider the affirmations that you are using. Do they match your thinking or are you experiencing too much cognitive dissonance to truly accept them? If they match your beliefs, then consider giving yourself more time to reach your goal. If your affirmations continue to cause conflicting thoughts, you may want to alter the affirmations. For example, if you say, “I know I can accomplish any weight loss goal I set,” but you think: “Yeah, right, remember all the times you set this goal before and failed miserably? That's why you're so fat,” then you may need a different affirmation like, “I love myself no matter how much I weigh,” or “I eat well, exercise and get plenty of sleep to support a healthy lifestyle.”

So, the next time a Turk comes up to you to highlight your faults and tells you what you “should” do, remember that you have the power to self-assess and make a choice to change or remain the same. If you decide that you are fine the way you are, let their comments roll off you like water off a duck's back; maybe even come up with a few snappy comebacks (for as long as you live in Turkey, the comments will keep coming). However, if you decide to change, map that change out clearly in your mind and begin to affirm that vision. Choosing powerful affirmations will help you to filter out the negatives of the “shoulds” and put you on the road to success.