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‘Machete’ Rodriguez knows how to grind
“Machete” was one of these fake trailers and a favorite of the audience. Now, director Rodriguez brings out a film that does not disappoint and achieves all the mayhem that its trailer was aiming for -- armed with an ample amount of violence and camp.
It all begins in Mexico. Machete (Danny Trejo) is a rare specimen of his kind: an honest federal agent who does not succumb to the bribery of the local drug kingpin Torrez (Steven Segal, who is almost unrecognizable with his extra pounds). It isn’t soon enough that Torrez lures Machete into a setup, and despite our mean machine’s agility with his ultimate weapon (which is naturally how he has gained his legendary name), he loses his wife and daughter to the treachery of Torrez.
Fast-forward a couple of years to a Mexican border town in Texas; things are not looking so good. It’s already a difficult time for illegal Mexican workers in the US, but the authorities are planning to make it even worse -- Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro at his slimy best), if elected, will build an electrical border fence to stop what he calls “Mexican insects” from stepping onto his beloved US soil. His team of vigilantes, headed by Lt. Stillman (cool Don Johnson never taking off his horrendous sunglasses), are already mercilessly shooting down the trespassers. Don’t be shocked by the violence when Stillman kills a pregnant woman; that’s how bloody this film is.
All the while a cooperative of illegal aliens are fighting against the cruelty of these powerful jingoistic men through their “organization de resistance” titled “The Network,” headed by the sexy Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who also happens to run a small taco shop near a day-laborer meeting site.
In comes the long lost Machete, bereft of his family and his badge, himself now an illegal on US soil. He is first hired by the senator’s first aide, Booth (Jeff Fahey), for a hit job that turns out to be another setup, and then Luz convinces him to fight for the rights of his own people. Enter the luscious but naïve FBI agent Sartana (Jessica Alba) and Machete’s own brother Padre (Cheech Marin), a radical priest. One of the best action and blood sequences takes places in Padre’s own church -- don’t you just love the irony?
The film’s buildup unsurprisingly arrives at a mini-warfare between the rednecks and migrants, accentuated with all kinds of body parts flying around, blood being splattered around like water from a sprinkler system, unforgettable one-liners and a welcoming karmic finale of fulfilled revenge fantasies against all the bad guys. Not to mention there’s an abundance of strong attractive women who’re as tough as the men. But don’t be fooled: Their objectification of super women is part of the exploitation. You will also find Lindsay Lohan in a small role that pretty much relinquishes her current celebrity status as a rehab-frequenting wild girl.
Trejo is marvelous as the laconic “Machete.” His colossal build and disagreeable face emits the necessary charisma to pull off such a campy role in all seriousness, which makes him even more enigmatic. He even delivers one of the worst lines (intentionally written, that is) of movie history with the right edge: “Machete don’t text.” It’s bound to be a classic.
However, there’s still a slight problem here. Trejo currently doesn’t have what it takes to be any woman’s romantic fantasy, thus it’s slightly unconvincing to see the likes of Rodriguez and Alba treat him like a gift to all women. Nevertheless, he’s still a charmer, believe it or not.
Robert Rodriguez has always been one of the most talented directors to juice out the most primal instincts and meticulously transform them into thrilling crime movies with the right dosage of humor and “Machete” is the most recent of them. Sure Tarantino is the contemporary cinematic enfant terrible, but Rodriguez is much less pompous and much more genuine. Love the “Machete” and it will love you back.
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