[Diary of an Expat Bride] Keeping up with the Joneses

“Remember what we promised,” he reminded me. Our recent move had shamed both of us in regards to our material goods. We had tons of stuff, most of which we rarely used. We both vowed to be more responsible consumers and only purchase things that we truly needed. We wanted to especially continue this mentality with baby stuff and teach our child responsible habits as well. In theory, this sounds wonderful. In practice, Can and I wanted to buy every baby thing we saw. It didn’t help that three of our close friends were also eight months pregnant.

Saturdays we usually would meet up with them, at one of their houses. By the start of their second trimesters, the nurseries were already designed and furnished. Even the closets were filled with clothes on petite hangers. Can, as he toured their cute baby rooms, would question me upon leaving on why we hadn’t even begun to think about furnishing ours. I had several reasons for waiting, the main one the fear stated above. The second, my hands-on nanny experience. I remembered that most of the babies I cared for slept in a small bassinet or cradle next to the parent’s bed for at least the first three months. We rarely entered the nursery unless we were picking out an outfit or something else. Diapers were changed in the living room, rarely if ever on the fancy, expensive, changing table in the baby room. Personally, I felt that Can and I didn’t need to rush out and fork money over to equip a nursery; by my calculations, we had at least another three months if not more before our little one would get any use out of it. Instead, we started to buy practical things that we would immediately use first.

Our first big purchase was a small playpen that had a raised bed and mattress for an infant. This was practical because it was small and could fit next to our bed, could be used while our son was an infant, and converted later into a playpen for use as a toddler or as a travel bed. It could fold up relatively easy and would be easy to store. I opted for this rather than a traditional Moses Basket or bassinet, as I felt we could get more use out of it. I could also attach a small apparatus at the end for changing diapers and small pouches along the side conveniently could hold creams, diapers and wipes.

Twinges of jealousy

Our small playpen paled in comparison to our friend Elif’s matching crib, changing table and wardrobe set. They even had a matching rug made, with their future son’s name emblazoned on it. Furry stuffed animals proudly sat upon shelves newly mounted on freshly wallpapered walls. Can couldn’t take it anymore, and I also felt twinges of jealousy when I compared it to our bare baby room, furnished with a lone sofa that converted to a bed. So, we went to work. We decided if we were going to order a bed, it had to be from a place that sold furniture that was sourced from the most natural and non-toxic material. This was not cheap, of course, but we found what we were looking for at a store called Stylewood. We ordered a bed/crib combo. This is basically a bed the size of a twin bed, with bars on both sides and two end tables on top creating a crib like effect. When our son is grown and ready for a big bed, we have to just take off the bars, unscrew the nightstands and the crib becomes a big boy bed. There is also a trundle bed underneath, so he can have friends stay the night in the future if he desires. We love that although an expensive purchase, it is something that we will use for years to come.

Can and I elected not to buy a wardrobe. Fortunately, our rented flat came with lots of built-in closet space so we were spared that expense. For a changing table, I merely took an old sheet and folded it multiple times to make a mat. I then made a small diaper caddy out of a container from IKEA, and voila! We had our diaper station set up in the living room. A bookshelf and colorful rug were our only other purchases for the baby room. We put an old armchair in the corner and covered it with brightly colored fabric and put brightly colored animal stickers on the walls instead of hanging pictures. The room looked warm and inviting, a place we could proudly show off to our friends.