While I had done extensive reading throughout my pregnancy, my Turkish husband, Can, had done very little. Like many dads, he felt that birth was something that had been occurring for thousands of years and that there was little use in preparing for our birth by reading or doing anything extra. He humored me, however, when I enrolled us in a Birthing from Within course given by Julia Steils, an American doula practicing in İstanbul.We were both excited that Can was finally home and we could enjoy our pregnancy together. He spent countless hours rubbing my belly, feeling kicks and talking to our unborn son, trying to make up for lost time. Even though we had been separated due to work obligations for much of my pregnancy, I never once doubted Can’s connection to our baby. My fears, however, were directed towards my upcoming birth. Like many pregnant women, I spent a lot of time imagining, dreaming and freaking out about my upcoming labor. Personally, as discussed in previous articles, my biggest fear was an unnecessary cesarean being pushed on me. While I knew I wanted a natural birth with all it entailed, I wasn’t sure how much I would be able to fight for it on the day, in a language not my own and under circumstances entirely beyond my control. It was essential that Can be as informed and determined as I was. So, we took a course that spanned two complete weekends at Julia’s office in Anadolu Hisarı, on the Asian side of İstanbul.
Arriving bright and early on Saturday morning, we were pleased to find two other couples taking the course with us. All of us pregnant women were foreign, our spouses Turkish, so everyone was on common ground. I became very close with these women as we seemed to be going through the same kind of culture shock that being pregnant in a country not your own brings. Our husbands, too, commiserated about the positive and negative aspects about their pregnant, foreign wives. While I enjoyed the relaxed, social aspect of the course, the main reason we attended was to ensure that both Can and I were on the same page pertaining to our birth plan. I liked the “Birthing from Within” book, and was pleased that Can, too, appreciated the relaxation strategies talked about in the class. As a pilot, he even used some of the coping strategies from the class to calm him during stressful flights. We also discussed in detail many possible birth scenarios, and learned language that everyone should be familiar with regarding a hospital birth. Can was a bit embarrassed that he, like the other men in the course, didn’t know what episiotomies, epidurals or inducements were. I did not want any of these interventions unless absolutely necessary, and it was imperative that Can learn what these were so that he could help me in refusing or negotiating around them in the hospital.
Together with the other couples we learned a lot about each other, and I realized that Can was more afraid than I had previously thought. He was astounded at all of the terminology that he needed to be familiar with, such as oxytocin, vacuum suctioning and artificial rupturing of membranes. He finally understood why it was so important for me that we attend this course together, so we could both learn and discuss what we would do given any possible scenario. In Turkey, I have noticed that many people obey doctors without question, even when many of their instincts are telling them otherwise. Can couldn’t understand how or why a doctor would insist on some of these interventions if they weren’t absolutely necessary. The more he learned about them, the angrier he got. While each birth is different and some do require the interventions listed above, not all fall into that category and a lot of medical interventions are performed for the sake of time rather than for the benefit of the mother and child. In the Birthing from Within course, Julia provided us with the information about these interventions, but it was up to us to decide how we felt about each one. Some women, for example, plan on an epidural from the beginning because they don’t want to experience the full pain of childbirth. Others, like me, want to feel everything so we have our work cut out for us when we enter the hospital. While this might sound weird to some, natural birth is a concept that is starting to re-emerge in popularity throughout the developed world.
The second half of the course focused on postpartum, and gave us an idea of what we could expect after giving birth. As a former nanny in the US, I remember many of my clients struggling with breastfeeding. This was reaffirmed in Julia’s class, where we spent a lot of time talking about breastfeeding and the several physical as well as social situations that might arise. Can, too, despite being a bit uncomfortable, also benefited from this course on breastfeeding. The best part, for me, was when we were shown various types of slings and instructed how to carry our babies in them. Can, competitive as always, excitedly tried to demonstrate his skills with a Mexican wrap. While he managed to tie and knot everything properly, when he picked up the baby doll to put it in the sling he grabbed it by the foot and put him in upside down. There was a collective gasp from every woman in the room as she imagined if that were a real baby. Laughing, I told Julia that before the sling lesson we should be instructed on how to properly hold a baby.
While Can and I opted to take the Birthing from Within course, there are several birthing courses offered in İstanbul. Check out Julia’s website at www.fullcirclehealing.org for more information on our class. I have also heard rave reviews about DOUM, founded by two Turkish women who also offer wonderful classes on natural birth. More information about DOUM can be found at www.do-um.com. I also subscribed to the Natural Birth in Turkey Yahoo group, and they also have an impressive list of birth resources throughout Turkey, especially in İstanbul, Ankara and Marmaris.
With all of these resources at my disposal, and after an extensive class, I began to feel positive and excited about my upcoming birth. Birth is an empowering right of passage, and no matter the circumstances of my delivery, I would make sure that that spirit would stay alive. I was so thankful that my pregnancy had turned out healthy, and so relieved to have my husband once again by my side. While several of our friends made fun of us for attending a class, Can and I knew we had made the right decision. Although at first I had to drag him to the class, he now recommended the course to all of his friends who were laughing at him. Now, it was only a matter of a few weeks before our knowledge would be tested.
