We were then to return to England just in time for our “big boy” to begin primary school. Somehow we forgot to factor in the idea that we might have more children and we might also want them to have some familiarity with that side of their culture. Fortunately, it wasn’t quite the shock it might have been when son number two arrived to disrupt our plans, as my husband and I are notoriously bad at both making decisions and then sticking to them once made. Consequently, I had been at least semi-planning to send son number one to an Ankara school for some time.The Turkish education system and the British one, especially in the early stages, are pretty different. Kids in the UK can get some free schooling from the age of 3. As soon as they begin school they start learning their letters phonetically and by age 5, when compulsory schooling begins, most kids have begun reading exciting stories about “the cat on the mat.” In Turkey both compulsory and free education starts when you’re 7. Because of the later start, classes are pretty intensive and there is a whole lot of homework. We’ve always planned to end up back in the UK (at some now unspecified point in the future), so ensuring the kids are on par with their future classmates is a big con on the pro/con Turkish schooling list. However, the deciding factor against sending one or both kids to a Turkish school is based on my poor grasp of the language. I would be the person helping with homework and engaging in parent-teacher relations. Although I am now reasonably competent at doing the shopping and ordering pizza, anything much beyond this leaves me decidedly mystified. Although having said that, the other day when one of the kids in our building tried to set fire to my son, I managed to tell the little monster’s father in no uncertain terms what my views on 4-year-olds being allowed lighters are, so perhaps I am underestimating myself.
Anyway, there are four international schools in Ankara that teach in English. The lowest priced I discounted because although the teachers teach in English, they are not native speakers. I’ve worked pretty hard to ensure my kids speak like straight-up Brits, and I’d rather that wasn’t compromised. The highest-priced school was struck off the list because, no matter how exemplary they may believe their curriculum for 5-year-olds is, I just can’t believe its worth $26,000 -- plus extras. The two remaining schools are much alike price wise. One is British, the other American. Somehow I had always assumed that we’d go for the British school, in the main because the American one is a fairly religious type of place. My husband and I come from different religious backgrounds (Christian and Muslim). Neither of us does much more than keep the main festivals, but despite this, we both quietly think we are right and the other is wrong. Consequently, we have a strict policy of not telling our children about our various beliefs as truth, even where they coincide. We will say, “Muslims believe this...” or “Christians believe that...” or “Some people think...” We never say, “God says you must...” We are both hoping that when the boys are old enough they will discover religion and decide what they think the truth is without being influenced by any preconceived ideas. However, as it turns out religion at the American school is optional. (Morals are not, but we wouldn’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water, so that’s OK.) This, along with it continuing all the way up to age 18 (the British school only goes to 12) kept the American school in the running.
We went, en masse, to visit the two schools. I studied their curriculums (good), asked leading questions about their bullying policies (comprehensive) and chatted to other parents, all of whom were universally positive about their chosen schools; but despite all these good points, both schools had a major flaw. Up until about age 7 or 8 when the schools will only accept students with proven English language ability, any child, of any ability (provided they have support at home) is accepted. On the face of it this is not so bad: There would be many other Turkish kids for my son to chat to, which would be by far the fastest way to improve his Turkish conversation skills. However, I taught (briefly) at a school where all of the children, except mine, had either a very sketchy grasp of English or none at all. The pace was so slow my son was bored to the point of bad behavior. I have less than no desire to repeat the experience of dealing with a hyperactive under-stimulated 5-year-old again.
So we have reached a compromise solution. I teach him the academic subjects at home, and we’ve enrolled him in a local (private) Turkish school. He goes there for sport, drama, art, music, swimming and most importantly the chance to make a whole heap of friends. I guess one size never quite fits all, but at the moment we seem to be getting the best of both worlds and both our cultures.
