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May 28, 2012
 
 
 
 
 
 

The articles I am afraid of writing
by
ORHAN KEMAL CENGİZ

23 April 2010 / ,
Most of the time I write about “taboo” or “difficult” subjects. Because of this, I may appear to be a brave man. While my writing adventure progresses, I am also discovering myself and I realized that I do not have the guts to write about some subjects. As has happened many times in the past this illumination came to me all of a sudden, when it was least expected.
I got mail from a reader sometime ago. It was such an innocent message asking me why I was not writing on some subjects. The honesty and the naivety in the message caught me off guard. “Why don't you write about women in Turkey?” she asked. Although I was moved by the general tone of the mail, I was first tempted to defend myself. I was going to say I had written some articles on women in Turkey. However, as soon as I typed the first couple of words, I felt deeply that I was not being honest at all. She was not referring to the women's issues that I wrote about before; I understood perfectly what she wanted to read from me. I was not honest because the reader was asking me why I had not written the article which had been on my mind for quite some time. Even, it had a title: “Feminist cruelty.” Yes, I confess it now, I could not write this article because I was very afraid of being a victim of the anger of feminists in Turkey. I was going to write an article about a man who was psychologically berated by feminists in Turkey, but I could not write it.

Having started my confessions, there are some other articles I could not write, even though I had been toying with them in my mind for such a long time. I could not write the article which I named “Armenian pain-body”. When I attempted to write this article, I could not stop imagining the “angry” letters from Armenians which will pour into my mailbox. I could not dare to confront that much anger from my Armenian readers. “Pain-body” is a concept developed by Eckhart Tolle. It explains what happens when an individual or a nation creates his/her/their identity out of pain. He first used this term in his book “The Power of Now” and he further elaborated it in his recent book “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose.” If you have not read them, I cannot recommend these books enough.

Why am I afraid of Armenians and women? I think because I do not have enough courage to confront the anger of “victims,” the ones who have suffered injustice or the ones who have a disadvantageous position and so on. I need to analyze myself further on this subject.

Actually, when I look at column writing from a distance, I repeatedly reach the same thought pattern and it is psychoanalysis. I am not referring to the “theoretical” aspect of it but rather the analytical process itself. First, the writer discovers himself/herself through writing process; there is no doubt about it. A columnist's discovery of himself cannot be compared to a novelist or the ones who write in artistic forms of course. However, whatever you write, there is an inevitable element of self-discovery, starting from the subjects you choose to the way you write them.

There is something in column writing/reading which much resembles the psychoanalytical process. Like in psychoanalysis, the columnist touches upon the same subjects again and again. Because, like therapists, columnists know consciously or unconsciously that to penetrate to the mind and heart of the reader, or to be able to make their point, they need to tell the same story many different times in many different forms. Metaphors, stories and anecdotes are also used for exactly the same purpose, because they have the potential of bypassing the readers' defense mechanisms.

You see, I started with my own analysis of my fear of writing and we ended up discussing column writing and psychoanalysis. But I decided to finish this article here, to work on my own fear, which, after all, would be much more beneficial to both you and me. I promise, when I collect enough courage I am going to write the articles I mentioned above. But it may take a long time.  

 
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