Friendly folk advice about my cold

As I have gotten several nasty colds a year for most of my life, I follow a good, standard and simple plan of treatment. Stay in bed as much as possible, sleep a lot, drink plenty of fluids, get extra vitamin C and drink Tylolhot about twice a day. Then sleep some more. After a few days, I’ll be fine.

But, bless their hearts, my concerned friends feel the need to give me oodles of advice about their home remedies. In a former life and in another country, I studied for a doctorate in folklore. While folk medicine wasn’t my specialty, it was included in my readings. If only I had known then what I have been told recently, I could have written an A+ paper on expatriate and Turkish folk medicine -- including so-called prevention and remedies.

I have discovered that I am not supposed to take a shower and then go outside unless I wait for at least an hour. However, I am supposed to take a cold shower to reduce my fever. During the worst part of the fever stage, I gave that option a pass as I was so dizzy I could barely stand. Slipping in the shower and banging my head wouldn’t have improved my health.

I should not wash my hair, not matter how sweaty and hot I get as my body fights the virus. I’m not sure what the cleanliness of my hair has to do with my alternately stuffy and runny nose and my continuously scratchy throat. Even though it is quite warm outside whenever I contract a summer cold, I should shut all my windows. I should also turn off my ceiling fans so that no breeze can afflict me with chills.

I am to drink hot milk and honey. Well, yes, the beverage is soothing, but it doesn’t “fix” the cold. And the person who gave the advice wasn’t on hand to provide either milk or honey or to warm the ingredients and to administer the drink to the bed-ridden cold-inflicted one!

I should not drink cold water. I should avoid ice at all costs. Cold liquid clearly equals an instant head cold. Of course, I agree with the many friends who recommend orange juice. However, I am not sure how cold water differs much from the cold orange juice brought by one advice giver.

For my sore throat, I was instructed that I should gargle with either a honey and onion mix (ickkk!) -- as certified by an American grandmother! -- or a warm water solution of salt and garlic (gag me with a spoon!) or ginger water (a more palatable remedy from a Korean friend). All of these delightful solutions are intended to irritate the swollen tissues of my throat and somehow improve its condition. Personally, I thought it was irritated enough. I lost my voice to the irritation.

Listening to my friends’ suggestions, I was glad that none of them mentioned the following folk measures to cure my cold and congestion. To cure a cold, sleep with your head to the west or inhale the smoke of burning feathers. Tie dirty socks around your neck at night; when you lose them as you sleep, you lose the cold. To cure a chest cold, place mashed potatoes on your chest. To cure a cold, drink kerosene and sugar. Or drink tea made from hogs’ hooves. To cure a stuffy nose, stand on your head. To cure a cold, drop a spider (or a red ant) in a thimble, cork it and wear it around your neck. All of these are actual “remedies” collected by folklorists.

Don’t get me wrong. I respect everyone’s beliefs and my friends’ kind intentions, but I am rather a believer in germ theory. Rhinovirus and dozens of other viruses cause colds, etc., and are not related to temperature itself. However, if you “shock” your body by a sudden or prolonged exposure to low temperatures, you may place your immune system in jeopardy.

The nose, pharynx and sinuses react to cold temperatures by increasing secretions that may be trapped in the sinus cavities and harbor bacterial infections (sinusitis). The lungs when so “shocked” can trap fluid in the alveoli and subject the victim to viral invasion. Shocking the immune system hinders the body’s ability to fight off viruses, thus making one more prone to infection. If a person’s immune system is down, exposure to other people carrying a virus makes contracting a cold more likely.

Actually, I’m feeling a bit better now. I didn’t quite follow most of my expats and Turkish friends’ advice. I did drink hot milk and honey. I drank the orange juice (cold!). I drank lots and lots of water. Rehydrating is important. The body’s first defense consists of mucous membranes lining the upper respiratory tract; those work better when they’re moist. I gargled with a plain warm water and salt mix. Not only does saltwater flush out postnasal drip and other bacterial material, a salty environment also prevents bacteria from growing.