When you see a Turkish woman walking alone after dark, you’ll notice she usually walks quickly with determination and doesn’t look around. She usually never pays any attention to honks or comments.In most Western nations, it’s true that a woman has to be very careful, too. Unwanted flirtatious harassment can make a woman feel uncomfortable and unsafe in public.
The book “Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming for Women” will be available from Praeger Publishers in August. The book is groundbreaking for its exploration of street harassment. It is informed by more than 1,000 women’s experiences, collected through informal online surveys and the Stop Street Harassment blog.
Sexist remarks and harassment around the world are experienced by more women than we can imagine. Young girls and woman can face unsolicited, harassing attention in public places from males they do not know. Such actions can also occur in the family, at school and in the media; however, on the street is most common.
The different forms of harassment vary, ranging from harmless whistles, honks, leers and kissing sounds and escalating into more explicit sexually charged comments and more insulting and threatening behavior such as flashing, stalking, sexual touching, assault, etc.
I would like to share a letter that I found on the forum for Turkishclass (www.Turkishclass.com) The person writing about the experience first explains briefly about a Turkish expression and then shares her experience as a Turk living abroad. Here is an excerpt:
“After a long time, today I felt [like] I was living in Turkey. Before sharing my story, please allow me to enlighten you [with] a Turkish concept so that you may understand my feeling.
“Laf atmak means:
1. /a/ to make a rude remark about (someone) within his hearing.
2. /a/ to make an improper innuendo or suggestion to (a woman one doesn’t know), proposition.
3. to have a chat.
“I think it only exist in Turkey, because I have never seen it elsewhere, and that’s why there is no one to one translation of this expression. As you can read from the meaning -- by the way, I have never heard of it as in to have a chat -- it is to make an improper remark -- about (mostly) a woman loudly.
“To explain it better, I would like to give an example: Think of a girl or a woman, of any age, of any social background, of any educational background, walking down the street. She doesn’t necessarily have to be beautiful, or have to wear a very attractive or inviting dress A boy or a man comes from the opposite direction, looks at the girl / woman, like he has never seen one before, and says (a bit loudly so that the girl / woman can hear him) something from ‘Oh, babe, you are so beautiful -- oh, yavrum, ne kadar güzelsin’ to ‘Does your father own a sugar factory? -- babanın şeker fabrikası mı var?’ to another thing I can’t quite pronounce.
“This is sooooo Turkish...”
According to the blogger, this habit of Turkish males starts at an early age and may continue through their senior years.
I learned from this blogger that because she was a Turkish woman who had grown up with this behavior, it reinforced how she felt about herself, and such comments were not disturbing to her. She shares how when she moved to Australia and never heard any comments when in public she began to wonder about her looks and feel insecure and thought that nobody ever looked at her. After living in Australia a while, she realized that it was not common (and in fact, unacceptable) for males to shout such remarks at women in public.
The blogger continues her story saying: “So, let’s come to my story now. Today, I was at a newly opened, highly luxurious shopping center -- what I mean to say is that I was walking in an ordinary street. I just finished my shopping, so I was walking towards the parking area and checking the shop windows on the way. Suddenly I felt like I heard somebody talking in Turkish. I looked up and saw two young [men] -- in their early thirties, well dressed and looking educated. The moment our eyes met, one of them gave a huge smile -- which was not so offending at the moment -- and the other man said the known words:
‘Oh, yavrum, ne kadar güzelsin’ meaning ‘Oh, babe, you are so beautiful.’
“I was shocked!!! So I moved on, pretending I didn’t understand any of it -- as they thought I can’t be Turkish, and I had a laughing fit on the way to my car.
“There are millions of people who live in Dubai, and only approximately 5,000 of them are Turkish, and I still can’t believe these two guys found me to do it. I am still giggling when I am writing about it. Am I flattered or what?”
Do you feel flattered or offended or afraid when you hear sexist remarks?
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
