Saving face

Some generalizations include: Americans try to convey a facade of confidence to make things happen; a Japanese person is concerned about himself, primarily regarding his relationship with his group, and wants to maintain harmony; and the Turk is somewhere in between.

We are apt to misread messages in cross-cultural situations, but if we learn a few important points about the culture, we can be less fooled. The most natural mistake a foreigner makes is to read into a foreign culture meanings from your own.

Some nationalities are better than others at picking up subtle cues in conversation. From my experience with Turkish culture, I think Turks are a close second to the Japanese, who read non-verbal cues well. For example, in both Turkish and Japanese cultures, “yes” does not always simply mean what you think. It may just mean “I hear you.” Be careful to not assume that they are in agreement.

Another simple example is a smile. Westerns tend to smile to indicate they are pleased or agreeing with you, but in another culture a smile or laugh can mean embarrassment.

Not only in business relationships but also in personal ones, saving face is important in Turkish culture.

Here are a few tips:

Listen. You need to really hear what the other person is saying and understand what is really being communicated.

Try to present a complete picture of how everything is interrelated.

Emphasize areas of agreement when possible and build on those.

Build relationships. Accept invitations.

Be prepared to play soccer (golf is not so common here), to dine or be shown places of historic interest.

Learn to disagree with being disagreeable. It best not to shout, don’t point and don’t bang on the desk. Such uncontrolled emotions will result in less respect for you.

Be careful not to ask questions that the other party can’t answer. In a business deal, send your questions ahead of time so they can be prepared and not lose face.

In a business deal, it is best not to reject or refuse a proposal outright. Be polite and just say you will consider it.

Give plenty of time and priority to discussing long-term general goals before moving onto the specifics.

Patience is crucial. Westerns can be perceived as impatient. Try to avoid signs of impatience such as tapping your pen, sighing, fidgeting, etc.

Deadlines are dangerous. Avoid commitments to specific dates as this can be used against you. Let the other party know you are willing to stay as long as you need to in order to reach a mutually successful conclusion.

Don’t be afraid of silence. It doesn’t mean they are giving you “the silent treatment.” A Japanese saying is: “Eloquence is silver. Silence is gold.”

Don’t limit the time for talks. Often in a Turkish setting, in order not to offend, different individuals need to have the chance to speak, so meetings can take longer than you may be used to.

Contracts are not as final in other countries as we think they are in the West. For many Asian and Middle Eastern countries, a verbal agreement was once binding; however, this is gradually changing. The problem is that courts have not changed as quickly, and it can take years for cases to be settled.

Loyalty is important, whether to a company, management or in a relationship. Westerners often do not understand how strong it is. It is important to strengthen feelings of loyalty. One way to do this is by observing local customs; another way is by offering awards on the job for outstanding performance.

To bring about successful negotiations, be aware that among the most common ways in which a person can lose face include being personally insulted, a derogatory remark, disregard for one’s status and damage to a valued relationship.

“You can indeed have understanding without agreement, but you can never, ever, have any agreement without understanding.” -- Don Maloney