The weekend papers brought us the latest toll: four women killed in two days. In an additional incident, a woman was beaten so severely by her lover in broad daylight in a crowded city center that she suffered a broken rib.One doesn't have to be a militant feminist or even a feminist at all to understand that beyond the harm caused to the victims, this epidemic of family violence is affecting the fabric of society. Children who witness their mother being killed or beaten to a pulp by their father will suffer deep traumas and will carry their experience to the next generation. There is plenty of empirical evidence to suggest that these children are vulnerable and more prone to becoming abusers when they grow up, unless they receive adequate counseling.
Tragic deaths are still reported in Turkey largely as isolated cases, like traffic accidents. Women need better protection: One of the latest casualties, who was killed in Beyoğlu, had sought help at the prosecutor's office on several occasions, but the husband she had divorced five years ago still found her and stabbed her to death.
But perhaps the time has come to shift the focus to the perpetrators, their motives and the social environment in which they operate. Violence against women is a worldwide phenomenon, but it is more prevalent in societies where the gender gap remains wide. It also tends to rise in countries where rapid social changes challenge traditional gender perceptions.
A definition of manhood that links it to dominance, toughness and the repression of empathy often provides the background to widespread violence, which is seen as inevitable and “normal” in such a context.
The need to involve men to put an end to family violence is now widely acknowledged around the world. The White Ribbon campaign, active in 41 countries, requires men to take a pledge never to use violence and, just as importantly, never to remain silent in the face of abuse.
Most men abhor violence against women, but too few of them feel the need to speak up. Yet positive male role models are crucial to challenge perceptions of masculinity that condone violence.
Community education is an important tool to shape public perceptions of gender. The macho confidence displayed by adolescent boys often hides their deep insecurities. In the US, a program entitled Coaching Boys Into Men was launched nationally in 2002 with the help of sports teams like the New York Yankees, television and radio as well as the print media, sports coaches and well-known personalities to teach teenage boys how to treat women. Giving young men an opportunity to talk about their feelings and providing alternative models can contribute to better attitudes to gender roles.
In Turkey, there are some examples of best practices, too: The Sur municipality in Diyarbakır has introduced a social contract that penalizes employees who beat their spouse or take a second wife.
Sociologist Michael Flood, who has written extensively on domestic violence, stresses the importance of having men delivering the non-violent message. He acknowledges that, even in his native Australia, “men's voices are granted greater authority than women's voices. It is probably true that men will listen more to men than to women.”
This is certainly the case in Turkey. Sadly, in the media, most of the voices that are raised against abuse are those of female activists. I would therefore urge my male colleagues to join the fight against family violence. Incidentally, men, too, can be victims of domestic abuse, but in a society where being seen as a man sometimes requires displays of physical strength, they are even less likely than women to admit their plight.
