Lawmakers had forgotten one word. A few months before, lawmakers didn’t realize until too late that a law they approved, intended to establish a new minimum age for marriage, instead removed the minimum age of 18 to marry entirely.An extraneous “not” in the bill allowed anyone who was not pregnant to marry at any age with permission.
The botched law has been repealed and the correct ages reinstated. No young children attempted to marry under the 2007 law.
Polygamy, another form of marriage still practiced in some countries, is outlawed everywhere in the United States, but you can still come across it. Usually, the male followers are of some religious sect who typically marry one woman officially and take the others as “spiritual wives.” This makes the women or young girls single in the eyes of the state, which can entitle them and their children to various welfare benefits.
Recently, Texas officials investigating a potential child abuse case removed 183 girls and women from a ranch, home to a breakaway Mormon sect linked to jailed polygamist leader Warren Jeffs.
It’s not unusual for a man with more than one wife and for concubines to come to mind when you think of ancient civilization in the Middle East. For centuries, this form of union has existed as a type of social security system for females who needed to be taken care of.
I remember when I first came to Turkey in the late 1970s and heard about Atatürk’s reforms; it seemed remarkable what Atatürk had achieved in just 50 years. One word summarizes what Atatürk wanted for women -- opportunity.
Atatürk’s views are formally expressed in a civil and civic study textbook: “There is no logical explanation for women’s political disenfranchisement. Any hesitation and negative mentality on this subject is nothing more than a fading social phenomenon of the past. …Women must have the right to vote and to be elected, because democracy dictates that because there are interests that women must defend and because there are societal duties that women must perform.” (Afet Inan, Medeni Bilgiler, Turk Tarih Kurumu 1998)
Many women around the world have felt they are second-class citizens. Their roles and statuses vary. Rarely do you hear of women happy in a polygamous setting, so it was surprising to hear the Texan women who were removed from the Texas ranch express that they were content in theirs.
Many foreigners are surprised when they come to Turkey and learn that a man is legally allowed only one wife. Polygamy is prohibited by law. Official weddings are civil. You can marry at age 18, or age 17 with parental consent; age 16 under special circumstances with court approval. The concept of dating as a couple is not as widely spread as in other countries.
Trends are changing, but still a marriage usually involves the family and their approval to some degree -- if you don’t want to be disowned, that is.
Just this past weekend, I attended a beautiful, small wedding of one of my staff and her American spouse. It was a romance by Internet. After chatting back and forth, he came to İstanbul so they could meet each other and he could meet her family. In one word: love.
I’ve had a group of visitors this week. We spent some time at a resort on the Black Sea. As we were standing at the hotel reception desk waiting for something, the front desk manager assisting us introduced us to his friend. It was revealing to watch my guest’s response, as the manager told us in his broken English about his friend standing next to him. He said smiling: “This is Ahmet. He is 45 and he has two wives and five children.” My American friend’s jaw dropped and he was speechless. He just laughed nervously. Later, as we walked away from the desk, he turned to me and said one word: polygamy.
Truer in some countries than others, for some young women there is only one main life issue -- finding that right person. Marriage is their one avenue to power, romance and adventure. It may be the first and last move they’ll make in which they have any semblance of autonomy, just like Jane Austen’ novel “Sense and Sensibility,” set in the 1800s.
Just one last thought: “A good woman is the best thing on earth…” -- Vance Hevner
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
