People tend to like to think that things are not that different. How many of us have moved overseas because we wanted a change or a challenge or just something different or because we had fallen in love with someone who is from somewhere else?
Wherever we are and whoever we are, people -- families, neighbors, employees, bosses, businesses, consumers and nations -- face the dilemma of “how to get to yes.”
In my article “Is it time to resign?” (Today’s Zaman, Feb. 18, 2008), I responded to a foreigner who hopes to renew his contract, but with administrative changes mid term, everything seems to be up in the air. New faces in new positions that are new to the school and to Turkey seem to be upsetting everybody. This Today’s Zaman reader writes that the deadline for renewing any contracts has been extended for another month and warnings have been issued to some. The reader writes s/he is not alone in the dilemma and that many teachers are disturbed about a lack of real policy in handling classroom discipline problems. “Unnamed” shares in the letter that a few of the teachers at the school are disappointed because they are not given the administrative support they expect when having to handle misbehaving students. The teacher shares that this is when you realize the school is more a business than an educational institution. S/he adds: “I am tired of students throwing their toys out of the pram and the undisciplined class. The problem has been prolonged for another month because a decision from the new principal can make all the difference in the world when applying for a job at other schools,” from Unnamed in İstanbul.
Dear Unnamed in İstanbul,
Having taught for over 20 years, I do understand what you are saying. As a foreigner who has lived here for a number of years, I have been on both sides of the fence; head teachers often get caught in the crossfire between the Turkish administrators and foreign teachers. It certainly is not an easy place to be when you are a teacher who wants to give a good lesson, and classroom management policy is not what you are used to. Unfortunately, teachers who have a real teacher’s heart usually do not last in such a situation. They pack their bags and walk. I hope you can negotiate a “win-win,” but if not, as one famous song goes, “These boots are made for walkin’, that’s just what they’ll do.”
Another Today’s Zaman reader, who has a company here, wrote to me along a similar line -- that is -- trying to negotiate. S/he writes:
Dear Charlotte:
I read your column “Throw the toys out of the pram!” (Today’s Zaman, Feb. 27, 2008) with great interest. I find it hard to be a boss in this culture as work etiquette and ethics are very different from my own. For instance, a young man who has worked with my company for four months and has missed three weeks of work for health and family reasons approached me for a salary increase. I give salary increases based on inflation and performance. At the beginning of the year I did not increase his salary so he walked out without giving any notice.
Another employee, who had been given a warning over a year ago, started coming to work with the smell of alcohol on his breath. When confronted about this, he just walked off the job.
These are grown men throwing their toys out of the pram. Sure I know I am better off without them working for me, but I am disappointed in trying to invest in people and build a company when people behave like wimps. It surprises me when people can behave in such a way, when they live in a nation with unemployment at nearly 10 percent. I would have thought that people would be pleased to have a good job and be paid on time regularly… from Mr. M.
Dear Mr. M,
You are not alone! A number of letters come to me that express concern with the other individual not even attempting to negotiate. The other party gets upset and walks out when they are in the wrong. Pride probably has a lot to do with it. It is disappointing when you have invested time and, as a boss, money in individuals and that when the other side does not get their way, that’s it. It is selfish and immature behavior. You cannot change them, but you can hope to be a better judge of character with the next person. But that is not always easy.
Both letters describe people who do not know what is advantageous for them and what isn’t.
Both Unnamed and Mr. M could say: I am surrounded by people who do not know which side their bread is buttered on!
