More parents have expressed to me how fortunate they believe they are to provide their children the opportunity to have a rich cultural experience. Of course, this does not come without problems. But nothing does in life! The major cities in Turkey are multicultural, multilingual and cosmopolitan. You can have friends at school and in your social circle from different places all round the world.
Bev in İstanbul writes: “The guests at my daughter’s eighth birthday party were from Canada, England, India, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and Turkey. No doubt, she won’t grow up with prejudices. Living in a culturally and racially diverse city gives us the perfect opportunity to teach our daughter about equality, respect and tolerance. On the other hand, ideas on parenting differ greatly. We do face some opposition when we want her to do something that her other friends’ parents do not make their children do. Things such as keep a clean bedroom, limit the use of computer, go to bed early, etc. ... We even have a different approach on discipline.”
Dear Bev, you are so right in what you write! It can be a disadvantage though if the school where your child attends has a different type of discipline philosophy. It sounds like to me you practice the idea of “Use the carrot, not the stick”!
It’s so true that Western parents should be aware of discipline styles and help their kids to realize the important thing is to create good habits and not to focus on their faults.
This carries over into the workplace. Employers discipline in a different way and those of us who understand positive correction will help the employee understand what they have done wrong and how to do it right next time, rather than just intimidating, embarrassing and shaming the person.
Some of you who are TEFL teachers may have found when you use fun games or rewards and plenty of praise, instead of punishment, you’ll have a more positive result in the end. Of course, if the approach has not been used before it may take a little time to catch on. Thanks for your letter Bev.
Another Today’s Zaman reader shares this insight from his experience:
“Adjusting to a new professional reality overseas can be just as scary for adults as adjusting to a new home environment can be for children, all the more so since it’s likely that the local language will make it impossible to re-establish old career paths in new countries. Our children, by just playing with neighborhood kids, seem to pick up the local language without too much effort. Because of some health problems I had to take a leave of absence from my job. It worked out to our benefit in that it helped our children settle in quicker because both parents were there for them in those early months of adjustment. But when I returned to my job I found I had been replaced. Any suggestions on job hunting for someone like me? Skilled without work.” From Timothy.
Dear Timothy, about your question: Expats with qualifications can always find work here, even if they do not speak Turkish. Try investigating multinational corporations operating locally. Usually they are pleased if they can find someone already in the country. Also, international non-profit organizations and local entities may have job opportunities. I’ve met a number of foreigners who have, by moving overseas, had many unique entrepreneurial and freelance opportunities open up for them.
Timothy, your letter raises another issue -- that of ethics. Living in different countries provides new insights on ethics and culture. Possibly in a different situation you may have had your old job waiting for your return. It’s obvious they did not want to give you bad news while you were having your health problems, so when it came time to return you learned the bad news. When it comes to ethics, what is right and wrong for you may not be so for the next person. Best wishes for your next job!
It is true that if it is possible to be available in the initial weeks of adjustment in your new location it should help the children settle in quicker. Robin Pascoe, author of several books on global relocation, says: “It’s fine to work. But give the kids six months to settle in. … My message is: when you have uprooted a child to a new country, don’t disappear on them. [At least] one parent should be available, emotionally and physically.”
