Whether it is cross-cultural relationships on a personal level or inter-reliant business relationships, our lives are being affected by others every day. The international and culturally diverse world we live in with its cross-cultural differences can have an impact, for better or worse.It is best to try to not cause offense and to avoid anything that may tarnish your reputation. Many societies, Turkey included, are shame-based. Honor is important.
These days foreign etiquette is especially important. Globetrotting business people and anyone else developing cross-cultural relationships need to be aware.
We saw some of the interracial differences when we looked at the film “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.” In 1998 the American Film Institute listed “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” as one of the 100 greatest movies of the past 100 years. I am reminded of another great film -- “Green Card.” The film is a romantic comedy set in New York which finds Frenchman George Faure entering into a marriage of convenience with a young woman so that he can stay in America and she can rent an apartment reserved for married couples.
Many of you may be in a situation right now where you find yourself in a setting that does not come naturally to you. You are not sure how to act or what to do. You keep trying to do what is culturally appropriate but may keep making mistakes. In “Green Card” the scene about finding the bathroom is both hilarious and suspenseful. Let’s stop a minute and imagine having to deal with that bathroom situation pretending that the place where you’re in is your house -- but really it isn’t. (Just like in the film!)
Both at an individual and organizational level understanding the values, etiquette and protocol of different cultures can positively influence your dealings with others. A very important area of cross-cultural awareness is the different dining etiquettes of the world. Today’s Zaman readers have written and asked me about dinner etiquette in Turkey. Tracy from Wisconsin plans a trip in August and has asked specific questions about etiquette.
Dear Tracy, I know for me it took some getting used to, and when I went out to eat with my family the next time I visited the States some relatives commented on my table etiquette. It had changed! Hope the following tips help your trip to Turkey be all you wish it to be.
Understanding dining etiquette can help us polish our conduct and behavior while dining or entertaining.
Here are a few tips to watch for in any cross-cultural dinner setting, and it is best to copy others to avoid any faux pas:
* Body language: How should one sit? Is it bad etiquette to rest elbows on the table? If seated on the floor what is the correct position?
* Eating: Which utensils, if any, are used? Is it a knife and fork, hands or chopsticks? Is there any etiquette for using them?
* Seating: Is there a protocol as to who sits where? Should one wait to be seated? Is it acceptable etiquette for men/women to sit next to one another?
* Conversation: Is the meal the proper place to engage in conversation? If so, is discussing business appropriate?
* Food: what foods are common to eat? Is it good etiquette to compliment the cook and how? Does one finish everything on the plate? Is it polite to ask for more?
* Home/restaurant: what differences in etiquette or protocol would there be? Does one take a gift to the home? Who pays the bill at a restaurant?
A few tips on dining etiquette in Turkey:
* Meals are a social affair. Conversations are animated and loud.
* It is good etiquette to remain standing until shown where to sit.
* Table manners are continental -- fork in left hand and knife in right.
* The head of the family or honored guest is served first.
* It is good etiquette to insist the most senior is served first instead of you.
* Do not begin eating until the host signals to do so.
* It is bad etiquette to rest elbows on the table.
* Don’t ask for something to be passed to you, if you can reach it, get it yourself.
* When you have finished, leave a little on the plate (or they will keep filling it!).
* Indicate you have finished by lying the fork and knife parallel across the right-hand side of the plate.
* Asking for more food is a compliment.
* If taken to a restaurant, Turkish dining etiquette has strict rules that the one who extended the invitation must pay.
Afiyet olsun -- enjoy your meal!
Note: Keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
