Can’t buy me love

Shopping centers, malls, shopping channels on television and Internet shops are as popular among Turks as in America.

A front page article in a Turkish economic newspaper this week reported on a number of building projects starting close to Istanbul’s Sabiha Gökçen airport. Amazingly three of them are shopping malls. More shopping malls needed in Istanbul? I think we need more sports facilities -- how about a large indoor swimming pool or an ice-skating rink or squash and badminton courts? -- or a museum, art gallery or a great new concert hall.

As I have watched this trend evolve, I ask myself: Is copycatting the American lifestyle really a good thing? Shopaholics and supersizers are on the increase here. Is this really a good thing? Perhaps more so for the retailers. Probably the results of our choices are not as life-changing as we think they’ll be. The novelty passes but the credit card bills remain.

If we stop and consider the haves versus the have-nots, we quickly realize that usually those who have less appreciate what they have more. In America it is not uncommon for a family to have two or three cars. In rural Turkey a family will be doing well to purchase one car. I remember the days when we traveled out east and villages had a common television, which was in a mutual place and shared by the community. Nowadays, thanks to credit cards and payment plans all things are possible. Nearly everyone has at least a television, if not the DVD player and all the optional items to accompany it.

In McKibben’s book he shares memories of his overseas trips, where he visits a factory in rural China. While touring the factory he spoke with some of the workers. While chatting with different ones, he asked Liu-Xia, 18, if she owned a stuffed animal: She began to cry and said she couldn’t afford such an item. When McKibben visited the next time he brought her a stuffed dog, “the girl was as pleased as I’ve ever seen a person.” Possessions can bring some happiness. In Liu-Xia’s case, she was elated.

Isn’t it true that many of us have much and want more. For McKibben the contrast is clear. His own daughter, he notes, has a roomful of Beanie Babies. How could a stuffed animal possibly have the same meaning for her? “In that world,” McKibben says, thinking of Liu-Xia, “possessions still deliver.”

İstanbul is becoming a sprawling metropolis as people desire to have bigger houses or villas and move to the suburbs. The pattern is very similar to that in America a few decades ago when people wanted to move out of the city and commute. Just as people scrimped and saved to do this, now the trend has come to Turkey and people scrimp and save for the bigger house, only to find ourselves more cut off from friends and family.

Certainly in America the suburban sprawl trend has made Americans even more independent. The book helps the reader understand that with population density plummeting, and houses getting bigger, the likelihood of bumping into neighbors drops enormously. “An awful lot of boomers began their adult lives doing extremely idealistic things,” he adds. “Many of these ideals fell away as we became immersed in consuming. Now we need to find our way back.”

The question we face now: if we are shopaholics or supersizers is how can we scale down our lives? Maybe we need to take a trip somewhere other than the mall this weekend. How about going out to a park instead? Or, like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates, we could find happiness in giving money to those in need. Quality time spent with our friends and loved ones, rather than buying them a gift to make up for the guilt we feel in neglecting our relationship with them. Visiting someone who needs our help (e.g. elderly neighbor or hospitalized friend) can be more rewarding than upgrading our gadgets to the latest version: their smile and words of thanks are worth more than a jealous glance from someone at the next table.

I’m afraid that many of capitalism’s long-standing assumptions -- such as, acquisitions improve our lives -- turn out to be a bunch of baloney. Having more does not always make you happy. The Beatles understood the issue: “Can’t buy me love…”