Some jobs needed to be done at least twice a day, such as tending to the horses and dogs, which my brother and I were responsible for on a rotating schedule. Other duties, such as cleaning our rooms, were done once a week. My mother made sure that my brother and I learned important survival skills that we would need later in life. These included how to sort and run a load of laundry, how to clean the kitchen and bathroom, how to iron a shirt properly and once we were old enough to handle kitchen appliances, how to cook simple, healthy meals on our own. As often happens, my mother was right when she told us that these were talents we would need when we were grown and living on our own.
Throughout the years when I was living on my own, I had several roommates. The majority, like me, knew how to keep living spaces clean and we would rotate jobs that we all were less than enthusiastic about having to complete. However, I did have a couple of roommates who never cleaned, cooked or ironed. When they lived at home, their mothers took care of everything. Laundry was dropped on the floor and left there, towels were tossed in the bathroom corners for someone else to pick up and dirty dishes were piled up in the sink. I had one roommate who collected old pizza delivery boxes in a corner of her room instead of taking them down to the trash bins, resulting in an infestation of cockroaches. Roommates like these never lasted long, soon moving on to other shared arrangements where they were not expected to keep shared rooms clean or respect house rules. These roommates made me realize the wisdom of my mother in teaching my brother and I how to take care of ourselves.
Due to physical limitations, since my son was born I have had a cleaner come in once a week. She is able to do the heavier cleaning that I am unable to perform myself. When we travel, she keeps an eye on our apartment and feeds our pets. However, even though we have a cleaner once a week, I expect my son to help me keep the house relatively clean, put toys away when not in use, make his bed in the morning, set the table and help clean up dishes after meals. He is proud of his ability to make a healthy, balanced breakfast for himself when necessary, on the occasions when I am unable to stand or walk without assistance.
I try to teach my son to see what needs to be done so I do not end up nagging him to help. For instance, if he steps on a toy walking into his room, he realizes that he needs to put his things away. He recently had a birthday party at home and before his friends left he announced that since everyone had participated in making his room a mess, all the children were to come and help him neaten his room before they left. Their mothers, who were having coffee with me in the living room, looked at me in surprise. I explained that he knew it would take less time to put his room back in order if all the kids pitched in to help. A couple of the mothers expressed their amazement at the fact that my son was expected to keep his room tidy by himself.
Teaching our children how to help with housework really is not all that hard. One important point is to keep it positive. If we roll our eyes and complain about having yet another load of laundry to do, how can we expect our children to want to willingly pitch in? Most children like to help out around the house, especially young ones, because it gives them a sense of being “grown up.” When parents and child work together, it gives the children a chance to learn how to clean and gives parents time to talk with their children. In addition, working together makes any job go faster.
Making housework fun helps cut down on the complaining from children about chores. When possible, my son and I come up with games to play while sorting laundry or washing dishes. We make up silly songs about what we are doing. We talk about what we want to do once the job is finished. Slowly, my son is learning to take the initiative and take care of tasks around the house without me asking. It takes time and patience, but I hope that my son will grow up to be a roommate who does not leave old pizza delivery boxes piled high in a corner.
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