Much of what I share in this next part is not necessarily true of present day Turkey. Things have changed. However, some of it a newcomer may be able to relate to; and certainly, if you travel out East or in the heart of Central Asia or the Middle East you will find similar experiences.
Let me share with you a typical day in the life of a single expatriate woman in Ankara 30 years ago.
“Well, I enjoyed my quiet breakfast in my comfortable home and then the day really began. I drove to the city center to run some errands. A friend went with me as it was best not to go out on your own. The streets were full of many men and few women. Most women who were out had headscarves and raincoats even though it was not rainy. Horse carts, donkey carts and trucks of all shapes and sizes choked the streets. Pedestrians even preferred to walk along the curb in the street rather than on the sidewalk. There were few ‘Stop’ signs and signal lights were not observed. Nearly every driver was male and relied heavily on his car horn. It was all total confusion and full of aggression. After my friend and I reached our destination, which was the main post office, we went inside.
“My first visit to the main post office was overwhelming. I had been taught as a child to stand in an orderly line and wait your turn. Then when I came abroad to the Middle East I saw that their idea of a line was different from mine. To the locals it had an order but it was unfamiliar to me and seemed chaotic. Upon entering the large room filled with mainly men pressed around every counter I tried to read the signs in Turkish hanging down on long chains above each section. It struck me as peculiar that signs were placed this high up but I realized the signs had to be positioned in such a way because if they were stuck on the glass at the counter they could not be seen as the crowds would have blocked the view. In a situation like this unless you are determined the sight would have put you off. I know others who entered there and left without ever mailing their letters. After a few minutes a lady appeared and told me in her broken English she was there to mail a package to her daughter in Ohio. She was my angel that day and helped me mail my letter to my family back home. During my time in Ankara we enjoyed many glasses of Turkish tea together and I enjoyed her warm hospitality.
“I drove to the university for my appointment only to find that the man I’d gone to see was not available. The secretary kept assuring me he would be available soon. After waiting nearly an hour and having a glass of tea I pressed her and she confided he was out of town. Nobody had bothered to call me to postpone the meeting. It is hard to give bad news over a telephone.
“On the way home I stopped at one of the few newspaper stands that had the “International Herald Tribune” and “Time” in stock. Just next to the newspaper stand was a quaint tea garden. It was such a beautiful day I thought I would treat my friend to a Turkish tea. We sat in the section designated for families, which is where you sit if you are not accompanied by a male. We ignored the stares and glares from across the way, but it was harder to ignore the waiter who tried to chat us up.”
Recklessness, immobilized, overwhelmed, feeling reluctant, irritated or angry are common feelings you can struggle with in a new culture. You may even feel embarrassment by having to elbow your way through the crowd or having to be rude to a stranger bothering you.
A word of advice: Don’t be too hard on yourself or the new culture.
