Banking on you
 
 
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19 May 2013 Sunday
 
 
 
 
 
 
Columnists 31 October 2010, Sunday 1 0 0 0
MICHAEL KUSER
m.kuser@todayszaman.com

Banking on you

A few weeks ago a friend got herself in a tizzy with impersonal banking. She fed an entire month’s salary into her bank’s ATM and the automated teller, the vile robot, digested the money but gave no receipt.
The boxy animal emitted an electronic burp and asked if the customer would like to try again.

Oh no, where’s the money? Of course the guard didn’t know, so he directed my friend to the manager, who directed her upstairs to the drone hired to tame the wild beast. The bank presumed their customer to be running a scam -- bankers are funny that way, flipping the civil norms -- so it took a few days for my friend to see the deposit reflected in her account balance. When recounting the tale, she swore that she would never again use an ATM to deposit wads of cash in her bank.

Her sad tale drew a frown of sympathy for the hapless victim, but inwardly I felt smugly superior, for that very day I had deposited a few thousand lira into several bank accounts via ATMs. In fact I had tried to make the first deposit with a teller, the bank being empty, but the man told me that the bank would charge me TL 30 for the privilege, it not being my branch, but that the electronic deposit would be free.

I asked him why the bank advertises a network of hundreds of branches, seeing as I can use only the one branch without getting robbed. He didn’t know, but he left his window to show me how to use the ATM. Of course I insisted that I knew how to use the gadget. I deposited most of the cash into a cash account, and from there transferred TL 800 toward the credit card balance. Hours later I stopped at another bank and paid TL 400 toward our credit card at that institution.

Days later I was stunned when my main credit card didn’t work. A few minutes of research on the Internet showed that I had inadvertently paid the TL 800 credit card payment into a blocked account, an ancient account from Pamukbank that had been blocked by the banking regulator when the state seized the bank in 2002. It wasn’t until earlier this year that we got that business straightened out, and a lawyer had said that he would send the necessary paperwork to free the account.

By some miracle of financial wizardry the TL 450 in that account had accrued zero interest in eight years, while our credit card debt had increased with compound interest. The lawyer sent the documentation, again, for the bank admitted that they had failed to act before. So now the account is set to be liberated one day before Republic Day.

Occasionally we would see this TL 450 on the computer screen, but we couldn’t withdraw it because the account was blocked. Plain logic might lead one to believe that a blocked account -- you cannot withdraw funds -- is indeed blocked, but apparently it was not blocked from receiving funds. What self-respecting banker would stop customers from depositing money? I would call it the ultimate savings account, except for that small detail of not earning any interest.

Back to my life in consumer land: I was buying a grilled chicken sandwich and yoghurt drink and thought I’d use that second credit card, just for the pleasure of seeing it work. A good way to fit right in with the oppressed working class is to have the bank deny you TL 9 for lunch; the guy at the diner gives you a look and a shrug.

My wife looked into this case, too. She discovered that I’d overpaid the bill by TL 300, and that, coincidence or not, the bank had doubled our credit limit. They’d always been stingy, so that didn’t mean much. I’d saved the receipts, but by now I couldn’t be bothered to reconstruct my financial behavior. However, if I had an actual surplus on my credit card, making it in effect a debit card, why didn’t it work at the diner? No one knows. What can you do?

Columnists Previous articles of the columnist
9 January 2011
Some things never change
2 January 2011
Blue sky and no risk
26 December 2010
Corporate behavior modification
19 December 2010
Social divisions and good times
12 December 2010
İstanbul unity and cooperation
5 December 2010
Hanging on
28 November 2010
Raising Cain
21 November 2010
Who is to blame?
14 November 2010
False foundations
7 November 2010
Warnings on the side
31 October 2010
Banking on you
24 October 2010
Deep in the heart of
17 October 2010
Occupying their hearts and minds
10 October 2010
Setting the tone
19 September 2010
Complicity in crime
12 September 2010
Sticks & stones
5 September 2010
Social truth and justice
29 August 2010
I used to hate Tarlabaşı
22 August 2010
Teaching to the test
15 August 2010
Not a video game
8 August 2010
Geodesic dreams
1 August 2010
Learning more
25 July 2010
Mid-summer ease
18 July 2010
Round and round the pineapple
11 July 2010
World Cup CRM
4 July 2010
Soccer saturation and oysters
27 June 2010
Intellectually absent, a lapse
20 June 2010
Negotiating a peace treaty
13 June 2010
A beach too far
6 June 2010
This too shall pass
23 May 2010
Double negative and positive
16 May 2010
A matter of perspective
9 May 2010
Our common denominator
2 May 2010
May Day, mayday, m’aider
25 April 2010
A sure bet
18 April 2010
Selling reform and timely changes
11 April 2010
Trading on reputation
4 April 2010
Raising new leaders
28 March 2010
Think before you speak
21 March 2010
How much do we really know?
14 March 2010
Hidden economic woes
7 March 2010
The price of harmony
28 February 2010
The price of harmony
21 February 2010
When enough is enough
14 February 2010
Strategy is paradox
7 February 2010
Control your children, if you can
31 January 2010
Get a grip on yourself
24 January 2010
Another day, another billion Euros
17 January 2010
It’s nothing personal
10 January 2010
Blame the children
3 January 2010
Let me check the file
27 December 2009
Turkish economy revives, but unemployment could imperil future growth
20 December 2009
Do we need a benevolent dictator?
13 December 2009
Finding the sweet spot
6 December 2009
Invest in teachers, leap to the future
27 November 2009
Let us now praise famous men
22 November 2009
Conquer your self first
15 November 2009
Making the most of a bad situation
8 November 2009
A winning formula
1 November 2009
Pursuing happiness
25 October 2009
Proletarians, awake!
18 October 2009
In your heart of hearts
11 October 2009
Strategic policy and execution
4 October 2009
Masters of the universe
27 September 2009
Progress on a long road
20 September 2009
Sloshing down memory lane
13 September 2009
Self-restraint and managing stress
6 September 2009
A lesson you can hum to
30 August 2009
The spinach question
23 August 2009
Management scare tactics
16 August 2009
Wave that flag
9 August 2009
Learning from history
2 August 2009
Handcuffed to the future
26 July 2009
Give that boy a piece of candy
19 July 2009
Going down-market in the digital world
12 July 2009
You’re getting warmer
5 July 2009
Planning for the future
28 June 2009
How to connect emotionally
21 June 2009
All the fish in the sea
14 June 2009
Suspicions of paranoia
7 June 2009
Is there a sponsor in the house?
31 May 2009
Zen and the art of eating marshmallows
24 May 2009
Economic conjuncture changes are no joke
17 May 2009
Happy days are here again
10 May 2009
Into the heart of darkness
3 May 2009
Sounds to work by, or not
26 April 2009
My final offer
19 April 2009
Take a swim
12 April 2009
Misrepresenting reality
5 April 2009
Style versus substance
29 March 2009
Who can say?
22 March 2009
Free vocational training
15 March 2009
A simple act of charity
8 March 2009
File and forget
1 March 2009
Crime does not pay, unless…
22 February 2009
Survivor’s glee
15 February 2009
The crisis in a crankcase
8 February 2009
Seeking guidance for business cycles
1 February 2009
Don’t cut down trees or people
25 January 2009
As bad as it gets?
...