Will you pretend as if nothing has happened that has personally affected you and write and talk about things which are, at that particular moment, not on your mind or in your heart or will you share what you are actually feeling and mentally preoccupied with?On Friday, I lost a friend who meant much to me. Ümit Aydil, a veteran lawyer and former soldier, 54, was a noble, chivalrous man. When I was doing my internship at the İzmir Bar, he was a board member and responsible for the interns.
Attending the funeral of a friend feels weird. You go there for a person, but this person is not there. As if he could come, pat you on your shoulder and say, "Welcome, welcome to my funeral."
Funerals of loved ones may be occasions in which we are given special moments to reflect on the meaning of our lives. What really matters, what are the petty questions we are unnecessarily and unwisely concerned with? Once again I found myself pondering these questions during the funeral of my friend in İzmir this Saturday. The important things became unimportant; the things that I had not paid attention to for some time have become extremely important. I suddenly realized how much I missed my friends and how important they are in my life. All daily concerns had just disappeared.
You think your friends are there; you think you can see and visit them any moment you want. They are there. But one day, one of them disappears. And at that very particular moment you feel deep down how important this person was to you. Maybe you had not thought about him for some time, he was not on your list of concerns, but with your loss, you painfully feel that he was always there, hidden in a corner of your heart. With the death of your friend, this hidden part of your heart, of which you were not fully aware, really hurts.
And words lose their meaning.
Rest in peace Ümit abi, you will always live in our hearts and always be remembered.
***
Actually I am not in the mood to undertake a complex intellectual analysis of the situation we are currently going through here in Turkey. Nevertheless, I would like to utter a few words, although they may not be as sophisticated as the situation warrants.
The Kurdistan Workers' Party (PKK) has intensified its armed campaign; the killing machine is in operation once again. In my opinion, the PKK is now playing the most dangerous game they have ever played. They want their leader, Abdullah Öcalan, to be accepted as a counterpart in any negotiation for the solution to the Kurdish question. They also want Mr. Öcalan to be free. If the PKK and its leader are not accepted as a legitimate counterpart, there will be no solution to the Kurdish question. This is what they want to show.
However, life is always much more complex than any strategic calculation. With these final attacks and with the others on their way, things may get out of control. Anger may lead to confrontations between Kurds and Turks. It is obvious that the PKK wants to weaken this government and force Turkey to be more authoritarian, which will make them more powerful in return. But this time things may really go in such a way that no one can ever imagine the consequences.
If the PKK continues these attacks, this government will be weakened; Turkey may even start to consider declaring a state of emergency in the region. And if these things continue like that, the nationalist coalition (the Republican People's Party [CHP] and the Nationalist Movement Party [MHP]) will promise to form a new government.
The PKK and Öcalan would give power to the nationalist coalition, but the present Öcalan would be receiving in return might be dramatically different than what they could imagine. If I know the genetics of the Turkish state, I can foresee that in this Turkey, which is governed by the nationalist pro-Ergenekon coalition, the execution of Öcalan may once again be put on the public agenda.
The PKK has now started these brutal attacks to consolidate its power. The nationalist pro-Ergenekon coalition would consider hanging Öcalan to maintain and consolidate its power, too. After all, like the PKK, it feeds on and accumulates power from tension and conflict.
The execution of Öcalan would create such chaos in this country that the pro-Ergenekon powers would stay in power forever. The way that the PKK thinks will lead to the freedom of Mr. Öcalan may actually be the path leading him to the gallows. I suggest that they look at the picture from this angle, too.
