I’ve noticed since becoming a dog owner that dogs can be quite persistent in asking in their own way for something they want. I’ve observed that my dogs know what they want. Usually they are determined to get it until they have learned otherwise.Let me just share this experience: My dogs have begging down to a fine art. I might add that they can sense who the softhearted humans are. Sometimes I fall into this category and am not as strict as my housemate. When my housemate is cooking, they plant themselves in front of her and she firmly tells them, “Out of the kitchen!” When I am in the kitchen preparing a meal, they do the same thing and plant themselves at my feet and stare up at me -- their eyes boring into me make it hard for me to say “no.” But I know consistency is important if a dog is to learn not to beg, so I know I must be firm, too.
My dogs know I love them and delight to please them, but giving them what they want is not always the best for them. My dogs can stand, sit or lay on the ground, trusting they will prevail.
Because I care, I don’t give them everything they want whenever they want it. If I did they would eat and eat until they were ill. They have learned to sit quietly and wait till the end of a meal to get table scraps. Ginger, the high-strung one, knows to stop bouncing around and sit under the table quietly and that she will be rewarded. It is important the owner remain in charge. I will grant their requests when it promotes discipline and character.
In many non-Western countries, beggars on the street have been taught to beg. Once encouraged to beg, it seems as though often they may not want to do anything else. I say this because I have tried to help some but have found them back on the street later. You too, may have tried to help a beggar sometime and been disappointed.
The religion of Islam has five pillars which are required of all Muslims:
First Pillar: Profession of faith
Second Pillar: Daily prayer
Third Pillar: Fasting (going without food or water)
Fourth Pillar: Giving of a small percentage of one’s monetary possessions to the needy and poor annually
Fifth Pillar: The pilgrimage to Mecca
The fourth pillar, known as Zakat in Arabic, is basically almsgiving and instructs Muslims to give 2.5 percent of their wealth away to the poor and needy. This may be done directly to beggars or through a charity. Basically it serves as a way to contribute to the welfare of poor, needy and deprived Muslims. Some would say that it is a result of this system that you see more beggars in Muslim countries. In more recent years the number of Turkish beggars on the streets has increased.
Everybody deals with being confronted by an aggressive and persistent beggar in different ways: ignore them, avoid them or just say “no” and if they persist ask them to leave. It is difficult to determine who is a genuine beggar and who is not.
Maybe you have noticed that Turks have a special way of saying “no.” The gesture for saying “no” can be confusing for those of us who are used to moving our head sideways to say “no.”
Here is what you do: Move your head backwards once and at the same time you should raise your eyebrows and also click your tongue against the upper jaw. In the beginning I used to find that I got confused because I wanted to shake my head sideways, and suddenly remembered I should move it backwards. I’m glad I did not get whiplash. What a sight I was, just trying to communicate a simple “no.” I persevered and learned.
When shaking your head sideways, you are communicating, “I don’t know.” Naturally, a beggar will become more aggressive in hopes of getting a contribution.
“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.” -- Newt Gingrich
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
