In Turkish it is easy enough to learn if you are not a native speaker… It goes like this:Kız anam kınan kutlu olsun, yarinin ağzı tatlı olsun; Biner atin iyisine, çıkar yolun kıyısına Ayrılık anam ayrılık, ayrılık yaman ayrılık
The English translation of the song is as follows:
May the henna look good on you, may your husband love and care for you; You will mount a beautiful horse, and set out for a different course
Leaving behind friends and relatives of yours, going away is not easy at all.
When I attended a village wedding in the early 1980s, it was the experience of a lifetime. My friend and I arrived by bus from İstanbul in time for the henna night celebration -- the last night the bride would spend with her parents at her house. The next morning everyone got ready and went out to the garden, where a big table was set. I remember seeing some huge boiling pots as I walked out into the garden. The meal started with wedding soup. Then we had roast lamb and okra with lemon. As soon as we would finish one plate, the plate was replaced with another. Mind you, back then you could not get any paper plates or plastic cutlery. After the okra we were served a special dish of rice known as Turkish wedding rice or veiled rice (düğün pilav or perde pilav). Whatever you chose to call it, you will never have a dish of rice like this. I had never had such delicious rice in all my life. The rice is baked in a fez-shaped container, e.g., cone-shaped. The outer layer of the rice is crispy, which I guess is the veiled part -- underneath it you discover small pieces of shredded chicken, currants and almonds. Absolutely delicious! After the rice we were served two desserts -- helva and zerde. I had learned early on in my time in Turkey that helva was a dish eaten after the burial ceremony and the seventh and 40th day following the death of a Muslim. Not wanting to offend, I did not dare ask why we ate helva at a wedding celebration.
After coming to Turkey, I had to cultivate a taste for zerde, which is a sweet pudding made with rice and saffron. It is a festive dish popular at weddings and birth celebrations. Zerde is also a popular dish for Turks to eat during the first 10 days of the month of Muharram (the first month of the Islamic calendar). You will not believe it, but we were not finished with the meal, as yet another dish was served that was simply out of this world -- hoşaf. You may be wondering what on earth hoşaf is. It is a refreshing compote dish made up of a selection of dried fruits and topped off with a variety of nuts such as pine nuts, hazelnuts, etc., depending on how extravagant you like it. Just around noon, an old car decorated with flowers arrived for the bride. The groom’s father was in the car, as she would be leaving her parents’ home to move into their house. Back then it was customary for the imam to go around to the groom’s house to welcome the bride. Naturally all the children were waiting outside the groom’s house for this moment. The children and everyone else who was there started applauding when the bride approached. All eyes were on her. A couple of things happened: As the groom opened the car door, he threw some coins over her head and the kids scrambled to pick them up. The coins were thrown to bring her good luck and wealth. Then an older woman threw a pot full of water on the street. The villagers believed that as the pot broke into pieces, it would cause all the evil eyes on the bride to go blind and bring her happiness. The bride and the groom, walking hand in hand, went and sat on a platform in the garden prepared for them. What a happy day!
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
