Contentment is something that many of us are after. Most of us probably believe that there’s a correlation between material abundance, ease of life and contentment.Some of the things we think would make us content are having good health, enjoying a good marriage, having lots of things and being challenged by our work.
After having lived in Turkey for so many years, I am not convinced that this is necessarily true.
I have met many Turks who appear to be content. Many of these people living in the cities are from a poor or average family and they have average jobs. Perhaps they are a shop assistant or a clerk in an office or a housekeeper. They may have as much as a high school certificate.
Those I’ve met in my travels around the country who live in farming communities often seem content, too. They tend to have lived in the same small simple house for years, raised large families and worked alongside their spouse in the fields.
In the West many of us have struggled for years with the problem of materialism. The worst thing you can do is be employed for a retailer who gives the employees a discount on purchases. Many of us have thought gadgets and accessories would make us happy. The problem is that many items are always being improved upon or enhanced… Then you need to get the latest. I’ve been guilty of thinking that more things will make me happy.
My grandfather seemed to be content when he sat in his favorite chair, with his favorite black and white television program on or a good book in his hand and his favorite pen on his side table which he used to complete crossword puzzles. He had a fine collection of fancy pens and a variety of pocketknives.
Moving to Turkey three decades ago opened my eyes. The problem of materialism did not exist. People were fortunate to just find the basic items to live. The struggle of materialism only recently made it over here.
Turks, like most people in many other parts of the world today, seem to be coming under the spell of the idea that the more stuff one has, the happier he is.
One of my favorite elderly Turkish women is now about 70 or so. I don’t think she really knows how old she is. I used to regularly eat lunch with her. One thing I noticed about Mürvet teyze is that she ordered the same dish whenever we ate out. Chicken (tavuk şiş) and water (su) was it every time. Being from the Bolu area, she told me countless times about how when she was young, before her family moved to İstanbul, they’d butcher chickens. Of course a few were kept to lay eggs. The rest is history. She always smiles as she recounts her childhood memories. Mürvet teyze is one of those who knows contentment.
I’ve observed this simple kindhearted woman on a daily basis for many years and often wondered what her secret for contentment is. I even asked her once what her secret was, and she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
Expats who come to Turkey nowadays can’t begin to imagine how Turkey has really changed.
I remember when I lived in Yeşilyurt in the mid 1980s and the first shopping mall in Turkey, located in Ataköy, was being built. Being from Houston, I recognized that it was being modeled after the Houston Galleria, which had an ice skating rink. Galeria Ataköy was opened in 1988 by Turgut Özal.
With the opening of Galeria Ataköy, the way was paved for more shopping malls to be built.
It seems the concept of a mall has became a symbol of modern life. It reflects the changing face of Turkey since the late 1980s. Since then many more shopping malls have opened, with folks flocking to them in pursuit of happiness.
I’ve decided that Mürvet’s secret is that she had low expectations. Growing up in hardship, she is surprised and grateful when good comes her way. She never believed the world owed her something and she finds her contentment in small ways.
Some of us see the silver lining, others only clouds.
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
