The afternoon walk home from school is when we talk about his school day, including the highs and lows. In the afternoon, he feels free to talk about anything school-related while it is fresh in his mind. The morning walks, however, are when his mind is free from the cares of school, and he knows that he can ask me anything that comes to mind.It is not always easy to answer the flow of questions that arise, especially if I have not had time for a second cup of coffee before we set out. He knows, though, that I will try my best to answer his questions as honestly and completely as I can. The topics range from the mundane to the esoteric. This morning, for instance, he asked about what happens when someone dies, why people do not eat rats, how long would it take to learn to skateboard and how often astronauts change their underwear. The seeming randomness of his questions often surprises me. I do find, though, that these early morning non-sequiturs actually serve to help me try to think more creatively.
While we walk and talk, we pass other parents who are also accompanying their children to schools nearby. I have noticed that we are usually the only ones actively engaged in dialogue. The other parents and children generally pass by quietly, with very limited interaction with each other. At first, I thought it was strange that they were not talking to each other as they walked, but I have noticed the same silence as they walk home with their children after school. I often wonder if they talk to each other once they are inside their homes.
I know that my son and I both enjoy our time talking together. Even at home, we know that we can ask each other any question or talk to each other about things that bother us, hopes we have or dreams of the future. So far, we have not encountered any topic that either of us feels uncomfortable about. Sometimes my son does ask me questions that are difficult to answer for various reasons. There are times that I have to pause before answering in order to make sure that my response is age appropriate. But, he knows that I will not lie to him when he asks something.
In the same vein, I know that if I ask my son a question, he will do his best to tell me the truth. This can be difficult for him if he has done something that he knows, or suspects, is wrong. Over time he has learned that we both are much more relaxed while walking together, and that it is a good time to bring up issues that may be bothering him. Our daily walks allow us both the chance to communicate more freely with each other. Through the years that we have enjoyed our morning and afternoon walks, I have discovered that we both tend to be more creative and open when we are doing something else, whether it is walking, drawing a picture or cooking.
I wonder if the parents and children we pass to and from school also take the time to listen to each other and share thoughts and feelings. In today’s world, it is often hard to make time for our families, so I try to take advantage of any chance I get to talk with my son. This is how we came to have our habit of talking while we walk. It does not take any time out of our day, and instead of walking together in silence, we use this time to talk about anything of importance to him. The other parents may prefer to have a little more time to themselves in silence before they have to rush off to start their morning commutes to their jobs. I am fortunate because I can usually work from home, so I do not have the extra stress of a commute to add to my day.
The other parents and children we pass on our walks may wonder just what we find to talk about every day. I let my son take our conversations where he wants. He knows that this is his special time and any topic is fair game. Even though I sometimes live in a land of non-sequiturs, I look forward to each morning walk.
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