I imagine I gave them my phone number when I initially registered.What can you do with bureaucracy? Enter the number again. The system rejected me, said they already had a user with my name and number. Congratulations, that's me. Maybe the password is wrong. Recover password page, fill in the blanks, press "submit" and wait… for nothing. No response. If you don't want to give away Internet access anymore, just say so, no need to waste my time.
Meanwhile the mayor informed me that Ihlas.net, the infrastructure provider, would log all my activity, but that, rest easy, free citizen of a country under the rule of law, no one can see the record without a court order. Oh, that is reassuring. Thank goodness I used a proxy site when I searched how to make a bomb to destroy city hall.
Of course there is no need for officials to check the Web log of a Beyoğlu WiFi user, for the free service comes with restrictions. I was trying to research a company involved in the state lottery tender and got ACCESS DENIED -- they thought I was trying to gamble online.
Naturally you are not allowed to access sites like YouTube, banned by the government for a couple of years -- wait -- NEWSFLASH! I checked to see the ban page and lo! YouTube is open. I'd like an explanation of this brazen action.
The odd problem I have this morning is that I cannot access any site outside the country, so I wonder if Türk Telekom is paying its bills. The New York Times, Financial Times, BabyFirstTV… nothing happens, but I get YouTube, which leads me to surmise that Google hosts a YouTube server in Turkey. Well aren't they clever. I feel like Dorothy catching the Wizard of Oz pulling smoke levers behind the curtain.
I'm open to new technology, and now here comes 3G, which is not really new, but it is new to Turkey. I've confessed before that my cell phone can't even take a picture, much less access the Internet, so going with 3G means laying out some serious cash for new equipment. The faster access is a serious incentive, and if I can do something to my laptop to enable it for the new system, count me in.
Then, as if by magic, I got a text message from Turkcell informing me that my bill this month is TL 104. I can't figure that out. Sometimes it's TL 15, most times 50, and now suddenly it's over 100. Probably my wife knows something about this, but I'm too scared to accuse her of inflating my mobile bill when she provides so much free childcare.
I'm willing to embrace the future; I just don't want to be surprised by a bill for TL 7,500 because some hacker downloaded the entire MGM film library on my 3G account. I have never downloaded a movie. This begs the question, why do I need faster access and faster access to what? I just want Internet service that works, and of course, fast is good and faster is better. My ADSL service at home is clunky, often doesn't work at all.
I rarely threaten the government, beyond the occasional thought of a bomb or coup, but as a foreign journalist, I am paranoid -- maybe they're watching me, maybe they're blocking my access to the World Wide Web. But I'll fool them. I'm going onto YouTube and will watch dozens of Atatürk videos, all respectful. Then when they come to nab me I'll say, no, no, check my activity log… see, I love this country. I was joking about the bombs and overthrowing the government. It was a joke!
I'll give you my cell phone; it's worth at least… no, I'm not trying to bribe anyone. Wait, stop! I don't know what 3G means; I don't even know what 2G is… please don't hurt me. I just wanted faster access… yes, to tell the whole world what a wonderful country Turkey is!
