Dr. Bijou insisted that punishing bad behavior does not work, that only positive reinforcement of good behavior effects permanent change for the better. When a defiant child starts doing his homework, you can give him a hug and maybe a sweet if he finishes it. Instead of smacking an unruly child, one should ignore the child, ignore the behavior. If the child is too disruptive, then you separate him from the class, now called a time-out, until he wants to join again on common terms.We do much the same in our adult lives, in the office, for example. Ideally, if you are good you get a promotion and a pay raise; if you are bad you get sidelined. There is nothing sadder than a 47-year-old management trainee.
One guy in our office exhibited classic disruptive behavior, angry outbursts over minor disputes. He would shout into the phone or yell at people for being stupid. It is hard to ignore explosions in a quiet office, but we tried. Our problem was that we did not give him small rewards for good behavior -- maybe there wasn't any to reward. In any case, he never did change his ways.
The United States has seen the light and is using child psychology in its foreign policy. Thus Washington ignores Israel's hijacking of a Gaza-bound aid ship, reasoning that it can later reward any small steps Tel Aviv might make toward reviving the peace process.
The Obama administration also downplays human rights abuses in Kyrgyzstan -- got to keep that air force base in Manas to support the war in Afghanistan -- and praises the free and fair elections held this week. As the State Department would have it, the government in Bishkek does not run a police state: after all, only those who actively oppose the government are attacked by police.
And the Chinese? They play a rough game, taking a leaf from Bush: You're either with us or against us. No sooner had President Abdullah Gül returned from a successful state visit to Beijing -- trade deals and toasts to mutual and perpetual friendship -- when violence broke out between Han Chinese and Uighur Turks in Urumqi, the capital of Xinjiang province in western China.
Prime Minister Erdoğan offered a visa to an Uighur leader as other Turks proposed a trade boycott of Chinese goods. Ankara reasoned that a boycott would be counterproductive, that Turkey stood to gain more by using its diplomatic power as a new member of the UN Security Council. Of course China, as one of the five permanent members, has veto power over any Security Council resolution. Beijing retaliated by immediately calling for greater rights for Turkey's Kurdish minority.
Sometimes we go too far with ignoring bad behavior. For example, President Gerald Ford pardoned his predecessor, Richard Nixon, who had been forced to resign or face impeachment over his crimes and misdemeanors in Watergate and throughout his terms in office.
In granting his blanket pardon, Ford argued that “during this long period of delay and potential litigation, ugly passions would again be aroused. And our people would again be polarized in their opinions. And the credibility of our free institutions of government would again be challenged at home and abroad.”
I disagreed then, and I disagree now. The judicial process serves a social purpose, perhaps more so when it is messy and politically divisive. Americans got the message that when it is too inconvenient, some people are above the law.
You see what happened to former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan when he said that George W. Bush could conceivably be prosecuted for war crimes -- Whoosh! Out the door, and replaced by the quiet, status quo bureaucrat Ban Ki-moon. I don't know if the Korean has a bowl of candy on his desk.
