Answer:"I know it. You know it. Our hypoallergenic Portuguese water dog Bo knows it. So many Armenians died in the Ottoman lands in 1915 and if that's not a genocide [under the broad UN definition], then the Obamas came to America on the Mayflower. On the other hand, what we also know is that no Turkish politician can ever publicly admit to such horrors. Remember the hissy fit my new best friend Tayyip threw at Davos? It's just not worth the aggravation to do anything to upset him. So rather than call it 'genocide,' a word my Harvard buddies would describe as brimming with socio-juridical implications, I'll borrow a term from oral history. Not that Nancy Pelosi has an Armenian grandmother, but if she did, then she'd call it the 'Great Disaster,' too. So I don't see how old Nancy can possibly object, and even if she does, there is just no way California is going to vote for Sarah Palin in 2012.
"But don't even bother to ask me if Tayyip will be grateful that I let him off the hook for another year. I'll bet you the publisher's advance of George Dubya's memoirs, he'll throw a wobbly when he reads this, but then I suppose he's got to keep one step ahead of the flag-waving lug heads in the Turkish media, let alone those two weirdoes I met in Ankara the other day. Deniz Whojamacallit kept glaring at me and asking if it was true Michelle didn't cover her biceps, but that Devlet fellow was clutching a tube of hand disinfectant like it was a teddy bear.
"But let's keep our eye on the ball, here. The important thing is not trying to reconcile the raw sensitivities of Turkish nationalists and the Armenian diaspora [there will be a black woman president before that happens]. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a little good news coming out of the Caucasus for a change? So rather than spend April 24 on mission impossible, let's use it to get the border open. Frankly, that's what Yerevan and Ankara really want, so I'm just giving them an excuse. Blame it on Barack H. Obama. They wouldn't be the first. A little commerce, a little trade, a bit of tourism. All it needs is a bit of good will and a bit of an incentive, and maybe they will begin to heal the wounds of history themselves.
"I've lived in Indonesia so I know all about the East, but there are some things I still find inscrutable. Everyone in Ankara spends the whole time talking about this Ergenekon trial and the discovery of a secret and quite nasty state within a state. Then if you suggest that the model for this deep state was the military putschists who came to power before World War I and who might have been responsible for what happened in 1915, then they throw up their hands in horror. I sent an e-mail asking that nice Gen. Başbuğ, who quoted me so many times in his speech the other day, if he had an explanation, but all I got was a reply from some colonel asking the URL for the handbook on waterboarding. I had to break the news that the site has been taken down. We don't do that sort of thing anymore. And even if we did, I am only authorized to share the information with mature democracies."
Question 2. Discuss the following:
a) "Nobody wants Washington pushing them around and telling them how to run their foreign policy. They want Baku pushing them around and telling them how to run their foreign policy. And yes I know the US has oil, too, but it's in Texas."
