Understanding their concerns, I gently reminded each one that terrorist acts can take place anywhere in the world. I doubt if there is any part of the world that does not have random acts of violence or threats to personal safety. However, the continuing rise of global terrorism has added more stress to the lives of many expats. Some families are reconsidering their choice of living outside of their home countries. For them, the answer is to return home, where they do not have to cope with culture shock in addition to having to deal with the possibility of attacks in volatile parts of the world.
At our house, I generally try to limit my son's exposure to news programs, especially if there is coverage about an act of terrorism within Turkey or a country he has ties to or has visited many times. For a young child, watching reports of violence can be confusing and scary. Their imaginations can run wild because at a young age, children do not have the same abilities as adults to sift through information and analyze the news. When we do watch the news together, we talk about the events covered so that he can have a better grasp of what he is seeing on the television.
This past summer, following the first reports of the gun battle outside the American Consulate in İstanbul, Ali Adem and I watched the news together. As phone calls between Americans flew back and forth across the city, we were glued to our TV sets, trying to piece together the chain of events and understand what had happened and why. Ali Adem watched and asked questions that I tried to answer as honestly and clearly as I could so that he could better understand that the actions of a handful of people did not reflect on all Turks.
Children often take their cues from the reactions of the adults in their lives during stressful situations. It is important to get children to talk about their fears, particularly if they are worried about terror attacks they have seen on the news. Experts suggest that children be limited to watching news just once a day. Parents should also be aware of negative comments made in front of their children. It is important to talk to children about the facts, explaining at a level they can easily comprehend. Discussions about world events between adults should take place when children are not present. And, most importantly, children should be reassured that their parents are there to do everything they can to protect them from harm.
Even though friends back home still call and ask about our safety in Turkey, I feel that we are as safe here as anywhere else in the world today. Manmade and natural disasters can, and do, strike without warning across the globe. All we can do is be more alert to our surroundings and take necessary precautions in order to reduce our risks. We have no control over the actions of others, but we can help our children cope with the rising levels of stress in their own world by being a reassuring force in their lives.
Parents have to decide what they think is best for their own family. For some it will be relocating back to their homeland in order to feel more secure. Others feel more comfortable staying put, but keeping alert to changes in the political and social landscape. Any decision should be made with the best interest of our children in mind. We are our children's security blankets in an unsecure world.
Send comments and questions to k.hamilton@todayszaman.com
