Are you a father or a dad?

I remember at a very young age being told that I was a Father's Day gift to my dad because I was born on that day. This made it easy for me to never forget the holiday. Sadly all the special men in my life have died -- I don't buy any gifts or send any cards now.

Turkey, like most countries, celebrates Father's Day on the third Sunday of June. Father's Day is just the right opportunity to thank your dad for all the love and support he has showered on you over the years. You may have been surprised when you first came to Turkey to see that Father's Day was celebrated here. Father's Day tends to be considered another Western celebration. It doesn't matter what nationality you are, if you are a father, you deserve to be honored one day a year.

Whether you are a father or a mother, parenting is challenging. It is the ultimate learn-as-you-go endeavor. My mom and dad confessed they were learning in the process. Few parents have more than a vague notion of how they'll do it until they are doing it.

The other day I was talking with a Turkish student about Father's Day and her plan and she told to me the following: "Dad and I have a great relationship. I can come to him with anything. I love talking to him about the things that are going on in my life, like my friends, sports and what's going on at school in my classes and stuff."

A 16-year-old foreign girl who visits the bookstore weekly shared with me how glad she is to have the parents she has. She said: "My dad is always willing to listen and give the best advice he knows. He is always there when I need him, and he never gives up on me. He understands what motivates me and uses it to help me achieve everything I want out of life. We even pray together. My father means the world to me."

Being a dad -- wherever you are -- is not easy. The two dads mentioned above seem to be doing something right.

Turkish society still expects the man to be the head of the household. The father is usually responsible for making the basic income. A good dad knows that it is about more than bringing a paycheck home. Studies show children who grow up with an involved father tend to have better social adjustment, are more likely to stay in school and graduate and are less likely to become involved in drugs or alcohol. It isn't always easy for dads to stay involved in their children's lives. Some men travel or work late. Divorced fathers who don't have primary custody may only see their children once a week.

You have probably noticed that Turkish children who are school age spend a lot of time at school. Dads, especially, spend hours out of the home. School is not the only arena in which children's minds need to be nurtured and expanded.

It's just as vital that children have quality time with parents, providing opportunities to learn and for brain building at home. Moms and dads can do a lot to establish a domestic milieu that helps every child develop his or her very special and unique personality and gifts.

The role of fathers has changed dramatically over the last few generations. In the past, fathers often took little responsibility for care giving or interaction with their children. But many of today's dads are eagerly interested in their children's lives. The term, "dad" is less formal.

"Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad." -- Proverb

The involvement goes beyond coaching sports. Dads play with and read to their sons and daughters, help with homework, transport the children to the doctor and dentist, watch sports competitions and participate in a child's social activities.

This year Americans alone will purchase nearly 95 million Father's Day cards. The most popular gifts for dad have proven to be apparel (neckties are the number-one gift), dinner, sporting goods, tools and home improvement equipment, electronic items and gardening tools.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads; or, as Turks say, Mutlu Babalar Günü!