William Hazlitt, in his “Notes of a Journey through France and Italy,” writes, “The first thing an Englishman does on going abroad is to find fault with what is French, because it is not English.” Often when individuals visit another culture, they can be quite critical. It’s surprising, though, how many people on their return home can be critical of their own culture. Many who live abroad do work hard at adjusting to our new culture but we forget when we go home that we need to work at readjusting.
Here are a few comments from Today’s Zaman readers about returning to their home country:
Dear Charlotte, I’ve been back in the US for a couple of months now. I thought people would be more interested to hear about my time overseas. People back home profess interest in things and events abroad but they are not really interested. From Melissa, Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Dear Charlotte, the first time I went overseas as an exchange student I did not know living in another culture would have such an impact on me. I found the first few months back home really difficult. I struggled with feelings of depression. I did not feel at home anymore. I found it hard to let go of the new life -- cross-cultural experience -- I’d had overseas. Now it seems I don’t quite fit in either place! From JP, Kansas.
Dear Charlotte, I am a Muslim who lived in England for two years. I love my own culture but I also liked very much living in England. I have had some major adjustments to make quickly. I find it hard now when I speak with someone of the opposite sex to behave differently from how I became accustomed to in England with British men. Now I instinctively try to move away from Turkish male strangers and avoid contact. In England, because of the culture, it was different.
Each of these Today’s Zaman readers has experienced some form of re-entry conflict. Returning to your home country can be quite stressful and require some readjustment on your part.
Your re-entry stress depends on a couple of points:
-- The length of time in the host culture
-- The degree of contact with the host culture
Naturally, if you have been out of your home country longer and acquired some characteristics of the host country during your assignment, your re-entry adjustments may take a little longer.
Prepare yourself ahead of time to be somewhat out of touch with what is going on, and be ready to make some adjustments.
I remember the first time I went abroad I was away from America for about four or five years. Back then, Internet did not exist! It was expensive and difficult to telephone home, so I rarely spoke with my family. I quickly learned that some family members and friends were better at writing letters than others. Even if someone wrote a letter there was no guarantee that it would ever be delivered.
Having been away for so long, not only had my home culture changed but I had changed too.
Some of the most common areas of value conflict that I experienced were:
Preoccupation with materialism: Remember, in the 1970s Turkey was a different Turkey from today and not very materialistic at all! It’s hard to imagine now. Having come from an affluent culture, I had learned in Turkey to be content with little or less of the necessities of life.
Emphasis on time and goals: Having come from a success-oriented work culture and been exposed to a strong relationship-oriented one in Turkey, I realized there was another way of life than the fast-paced, goal-oriented lifestyle I was raised in.
Doing things “my” way: It is normal to think that the way you do something is the best way. Every culture values its way as the best way! I learned from my experience living overseas that other cultures have something to offer me, or shall I say, us. Of course, your family and friends have not had pour experience and so they may not appreciate your broadmindedness. Go easy questioning traditional ways.
Note: Charlotte McPherson is the author of “Culture Smart: Turkey, 2005.” Please keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
