I generally work from home as a writer, but to get needed background for articles I often have to schedule appointments outside of the house. Even though I try to set up meetings while my son is in school, there are times when that is just not possible. On the rare occasions when I find myself having to make an evening or weekend meeting, I suddenly find myself scrambling to find a sitter on short notice. One of the women in my building has kindly offered to babysit my son for me if I am ever stuck without someone to help out. But I know that her husband is elderly and not in good health so I am hesitant to pull her away from her family in the evenings. Other neighbors have daughters who have told me would be happy to assist, but I feel that they may be just a little too young for the job. I also suspect that my son would view them as a playmate rather than a short-term caregiver.
In the United States babysitting is almost a rite of passage for many teenaged girls. Flyers are printed up giving the rates per hour as well as any additional emergency training they may have taken and then posted at local grocery stores or placed in mailboxes to drum up business. Mothers often become very possessive with personal lists of reliable, well-trained and trusted teens in their area that are available on short notice to come and take over the childcare chores for an evening. For many high-schoolers it is a good way to earn extra pocket money.
In Turkey however, asking someone to babysit for me is unfamiliar territory. My sister-in-law is sometimes able to help out, but she lives across town and it is not convenient or feasible for her to come to our home or for us to take our son to her apartment on a school night. Like the majority of foreigners living in Turkey, we have a woman who comes once a week to help me with cleaning the house. She has been part of our lives since soon after our son was born and she will stay late if I have meetings on evenings when she is working at our home.
I am hesitant to ask for too much help from neighbors in part because I still do not know many parts of the culture. I am not sure just how acceptable it is for a young girl to come to a stranger’s apartment to take care of a child for the evening. I hesitate to ask the girls I do know well because I am unsure of whether or not paying someone to come and babysit is a normal part of the culture. Turkish families that I know have relatives who are able to come and help them out when needed. I have asked them about how to find a babysitter in İstanbul and they too are unsure of how to go about it since they have family to pitch in and help.
And so on occasion I have had to take my son with me to business appointments. In America this is a practice that would generally be frowned upon as being very unprofessional. In Turkey, however, I have found it to be something that is in fact very acceptable. The first time he joined me for a work-related appointment I was nervous about bringing him along, thinking that the reception for having a child in tow during work would be less than warm. I was pleasantly surprised as he was cooed over and waited on by everyone taking part in our meeting. Since then I have taken him along to a few other appointments when I don’t have someone to help me out, and every time he has been warmly accepted.
As a working parent living in Turkey, it is heartening to find that even in the workplace children are welcome. I definitely find it easier to conduct business without a child tagging along with me, but it is a relief to know that if it is necessary to bring him along it is not considered unacceptable or unprofessional behavior. And he knows that being allowed to accompany me for work is a special event that requires his very best behavior. It’s comforting to know that his presence is not considered a disruption in the working world. As a parent it is a relief to know that there are times when home and business can come together in harmony.
Send comments and questions to k.hamilton@todayszaman.com
