Turks today are generally thought of as being hospitable people of a passive nature. I’ve heard many foreigners say, “I don’t understand why Turks don’t protest or strike more.” One foreigner expressed to me that she thought Turks, in general, seem to be too tolerant. She asked me why this is.My guess: Maybe it is because in the late 1950s, political and economic instability caused anarchy and violence. This led to a bloodless military coup in 1960, led by Gen. Cemal Gürsel. In 1971 strikes and student unrest led to another coup. Military rule lasted until 1973. What happened after that?
The years to come were full of economic and social problems. Tensions between the political left and right increased. The 1970s saw a string of coalition governments. By the end of the decade political violence had reached such a level that in the 1980s another military regime was imposed by Gen. Kenan Evren. Once again civilian rule returned by 1983. In the 1980s the government focused on economic growth and opening up Turkey to the West.
Modern Turkey is a very young nation by Western standards and still has a lot of teething problems -- this is very natural. Because of the violence in the 1950s and 1970s Turks seem to have taken on a nature of tolerance and passivity about issues which individuals believe they can’t do much about. Any frustration comes out in other ways.
These days the aggressive side of Turks is seen in other ways -- such as when they are behind the wheel or in a queue or at football games. Westerners are often surprised at the aggressiveness or signs of rage. People seem to really growl, so to speak, when they think it can make a difference, even if it may sometimes be over the top.
I was horrified the other day when I was sitting at the kitchen counter having a sandwich when a small piece of turkey fell on the kitchen floor. Ginger and Kila, our two Cocker Spaniels, both dove for it! Growls rang out -- aggressive ones. Before I knew it there was a yelp of pain. Kila had been slightly injured. We do not accept this kind of behavior. Our dogs should know by now that we treat them equally. Our dogs can be assured that there are no favorites. No special treatment for one and not the other.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we, humans, could have that same assurance in all matters that concerned us?
In a society, meeting each other other’s needs begins in a small way on the personal level. It involves being considerate, respectful and kind. Here are some simple examples:
Being considerate enough to pause long enough to let another driver parallel park.
Showing kindness by stopping your car long enough to allow the elderly or mom and child to cross the street.
Staying calm, rather than having a shouting match, when you have a car accident or a problem in the apartment building with your neighbor.
Showing genuine respect to others even if you think you are more important.
Providing opportunities for individuals to express themselves and their own personal opinions without fear or intimidation.
If you are new to Turkey, you may not know the history of the modern republic. Our past does affect us. Ginger’s early years are a mystery to me. She tends to growl a lot more than Kila. She came to us at the age of 5. I only know that she lived on the streets of Nişantaşı for a while, which would be very dangerous for a dog -- dodging traffic and trying to find food and shelter. Still if Ginger feels cornered or left out or sensitive about something, she growls. After all, that was her way of protecting herself and what was hers.
I have showered her with good things and love and gently tried to break the growling habit. It’s one thing to handle “growling” in this way and a completely different thing to handle it in a way that stops one from being free to express concern. Ginger trusts us. She knows she can growl in a way that does no real harm but only makes her heard. It is important to be able to express concern in an appropriate way about important needs in your life. It is all a matter of keeping things in balance.
“Nothing is enough to the man for whom enough is too little.”
-- Epicurus
