Kids say the darndest things!

Who is he? Art Linkletter (born Gordon Arthur Kelly on July 17, 1912 in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada), was the host of two of the longest-running shows in United States broadcasting history: “House Party,” which ran on CBS radio and television for 25 years, and “People Are Funny,” on NBC radio-TV for 19 years. Linkletter was famous for interviewing children on “House Party” in a section called, Kids Say the Darndest Things, which led to a successful series of books quoting children.

If you are a newcomer to Turkey, you will quickly realize kids are the same everywhere. Warning though, the adults aren’t. You may not yet know that Turkish adults love to pinch young children’s cheeks. Your children will notice that adults here do not pat children on the head so much. They pinch the cheeks. Pinching the cheeks is a sign of endearment (or perhaps patronization). I am glad I did not grow up here because I had full cheeks and probably would have had them pinched a lot! Ouch!

Foreign kids who are raised here find the opposite when they go home on holiday. Used to so much attention from adults in Turkey, little ones can’t work out why they are ignored and treated as normal abroad. I recall my friend Deb telling me how her little Sam couldn’t understand why on a trip to Walmart no one made a fuss over him as he walked up and down the aisles (after all, his blond hair and blue eyes got him a lot of admiration in Migros!) and he even went up to a few older ladies and tapped them on the legs to try to get their attention.

I also have to watch out when I go home. I am used, in Turkey, to being friendly to children, cooing to babies, and chatting with young ones. But back in the US, children are taught not to talk to strangers, and certainly not to accept sweets from them. It is a sad sign of our times that families have had to be more careful. If I just smile at a baby in the bank queue, I find her mother may look at me suspiciously and move the pram a little way away.

Anyway, children…everywhere…can bring a smile to our faces.

A Today’s Zaman reader sent me these responses to a recent article of mine, “Is it Erkek or Ekmek?” The things said by children were said in innocence, but here are some funny examples of how words can change meaning to create misunderstandings getting us into trouble:

A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?” Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.” The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”

A little boy was asked who Isaac Newton was. He replied very seriously, “He was a great English scientist, and was the discoverer of gravy.”

One kid was complaining of being hungry at break time. His friend offered to help: “If you are hungry I have some dirty toes you can have.” “Dirty toes????? -- yuuuuuuuuuurgh!” “No they are really nice, my mum bought my favorite flavor,” said the friend, pulling out a pack of Doritos from his school back-pack.

Little Susie went to the wedding of her Uncle Bill and his fiancée Joan. As the congregation fell silent awaiting the bride’s entrance she tugged on her mum’s sleeve: “Mummy, who is that man next to Uncle Bill?” “That’s the best man, dear.” Little Susie was confused, and said in a very loud voice, “Well, if he is the best man, why isn’t Joan marrying him?”

I think Art Linkletter was right on the mark when he said that the two best interview subjects are children under 10 and people over 70 who, for the same reason say the first thing that comes to mind. The children don’t know what they’re saying and the old folks don’t care. These days, can people say whatever they want to say or do we need to be more careful? I don’t think it matters to the children or the elderly.

Think of the children and those over 70 and keep that smile on your face!