I replied quickly to her e-mail: “Well, Rebecca, I’m not nearly as old as him but I do appreciate his talent and achievements.” For Today’s Zaman readers who may not know too much about Tony, he is a 13-time Grammy winner with a repertoire covering the Great American Songbook. His new album, “Tony Bennett Duets: An American Classic,” is full of hits. On the album, Bennett sings with such music greats as Barbra Streisand, Paul McCartney, Elton John, Bono, Billy Joel, the Dixie Chicks, Christina Aguilera, k.d. lang, Diana Krall and John Legend.
Tony, aged 80, recently appeared on Oprah Winfrey discussing his 20-city tour, “The Best is Yet to Come,” which he is doing for the American Association of Retired People (AARP). Even Streisand, who is in her 60s, has joined the 20 cities concert tour across the US during 2007 and is also touring in 10 European cities. Maybe one day she’ll come here.
What have these people got that others do not have? They have ambition and purpose.
As far as I know, Turkey does not have anything like the AARP for its older citizens. The AARP has a membership of 37 million, and you must be aged 50 and over to join.
After reading the article “Real living legends,” Sondra from Texas wrote asking about her mother’s situation. She writes: “My mom is 72. She loves to go to concerts and other social events. Sadly, my dad and many of her friends have passed away. I am so pleased that she subscribes to the AARP -- they care for the over 50s. Their magazine keeps the reader informed and active. It’s a great network. I want to offer my mom all the support she needs so she can live a full life, but I don’t want her to be unhealthily dependent on me. How can I achieve this? Can I?”
Dear Sondra, if we offer people hope, they will believe they have hope. Participation is crucial. Even though folks over 50 aren’t in the “young” category any more, it does not mean that they do not want to be active and enjoy life. The decisions we make affect us and what we do. The AARP recognizes this. Also, any physician will tell you that patients’ attitudes and participation to the process of decision making can affect the outcome. Your mom will not become dependent, as long as she exhibits these simple criteria:
Competency involves the mental power and the ability to communicate and understand. If we have competency, we usually want to live and be sociable.
Willingness also plays an important role in the fullness of life we chose to live. The AARP recognizes that many people want to be active and enjoy life. Often in Turkey it seems that the elderly people decide to let others do it for them. Elderly people tend to become too quickly dependent on others too early. For those who have to be dependent on someone, we need to remember it is probably not easy for that person.
An ancient writer said, “Words of wisdom come from the wise, but fools speak foolishness.”
Sondra, remember there is a fine line between giving someone support and making them dependent on you.
They need our support.
Dr. John Phillips works with the elderly. He often offers these words of wisdom, “Ask questions, network and have fun.” Knowledge is important. It helps a person make a more informed decision. An older person may need our assistance in researching something on the Internet, etc., but it does not mean they cannot understand the information. Sometimes our elderly parents say things they do not mean, because they do not know any better or their medicines affect them. Don’t take everything to heart.
Words true for all of us are, “Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” (Rahila Khan)
Tony Bennett’s son believes the baby-boomers don’t ever want to grow old. He said, “This is a generation who is determined to stay forever young at heart and realizes that the best is yet to come.”
We aren’t all Tony Bennett, but we can live full lives to the end.
Note: Keep your questions and observations coming: I want to ensure this column is a help to you, Today’s Zaman’s readers. Email: c.mcpherson@todayszaman.com
